Upon A Winter Morning
by IrishEyesAreSmiling
Summary: The Horcruxes must be destroyed. Pain, friendship, loyalty and death await them all. Through trial and separation, how will Harry ever kill Voldemort...or will he?
1. Return to Grimmauld

**This gets better after Harry leaves to find the Horcruxes. In the future it gets a little morbid, so bear with me. I'm also going to do something that I absolutely HATE doing…I'm going to post this story in pieces. I will try to post a few ever day after the chapters that I have already finished…up to ten now. Please bear with me and keep reading. Don't leave!**

CH 1 Back to Grimmauld

Harry watched as the figure of Hedwig came soaring swiftly through the brightness of the stars. Sighing, he glanced at the clock and felt his insides squirm. It was almost eleven thirty. Soon he would be seventeen, and the protection that he had would be gone. Harry let his imagination wander and had visions of Death Eaters swarming the house the moment the number turned to twelve.

Hedwig screeched and flew into the room with two rolls of parchments tied to her legs. She plopped onto his bed, nipped his finger, then waited patiently as he released her burden.

"Thank you, girl. Sorry, but I don't have anything for you." Harry smiled weakly at her, but that was all he could do. It seemed like after the death of Dumbledore, he never felt happy anymore. What made him more upset was when he glanced down at the post he received.

_Dear Harry,_

_Why wouldn't you let us stay over at the Muggles with you? I take that personally! Mum has been upset all summer about you, not writing and all. She doesn't think that you should be over there all by yourself after Dumbledore's death. But listen, about this year, please reconsider us. We NEED to be there for you. I know that you don't want us killed or anything, but we have always done these things together. You said so yourself that you wouldn't have gotten the necklace if just Dumbledore had gone. Come over soon, everyone is anxious to see you again._

_Ron P.S. Ginny wants to talk to you_

Harry inhaled deeply. Why wouldn't they just leave him alone? And Ginny, he couldn't bear to think about her. What he had to do now was his business. They didn't see Dumbledore die and fall over the wall of the Astronomy tower. They didn't have a prophecy hanging over their head. Someone else could murder Voldemort, Harry knew that, but _he_ would be the one to do it first. Another letter was under Ron's. Glancing at the handwriting, Harry's curiosity peaked. It was Lupin.

_Dear Harry,_

_I'm coming for you early on the 31st of July. Your protection will no longer exist there. I will be taking you to the headquarters where everyone is waiting for you. We also have to discuss some issues immediately. Be ready._

_Remus Lupin_

Perfect, he thought. Just perfect. Today was the 31st.

Harry's eyes opened at the sound of his aunt's scream from downstairs, followed abruptly by Uncle Vernon's roar of fury. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! HOW DARE YOU PEOPLE BARGE INTO MY HOUSE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?"

Harry flung himself off the bed and began throwing his belongings wildly into his trunk. Even from upstairs he heard his uncle's booming feet head in his direction.

"FOR THE LAST TIME, GET OUT!"

"I am here to take Harry away. He will not be coming back."

There was a brief silence until Vernon's voice returned to normal. "Not coming back you say? Well, by all means."

Harry was standing near his trunk when Lupin opened the door. He looked incredibly peeved. "How have you been?"

He shrugged. Harry knew that the man was feeling the same as he did. Neither of them had much strength inside them or any emotion to speak with. Harry wondered if like himself, Lupin felt as if his life had ended after Dumbledore was murdered.

"Hold onto your trunk. We're appearating to London. You've been given permission by the Ministry to do it without a license."

"Why," he asked bitterly. "Are they trying to let me do whatever I want to get me on their side? I almost want to refuse."

"Harry, please. We need to go."

His uncle came striding into the room sneering, "About time. Now you will not step another foot inside this house again, do you hear me, boy? We will not be caught in the middle of this."

Remus opened his mouth angrily to retort to his comment, but Harry cut him off. "I have no desire to. If something does happen, I won't be there to help you either, which suits me fine. Lupin, I'm ready to go now."

"Get your trunk then." Harry concentrated on his destination carefully, conjuring the image of the row of houses where Grimmauld Place resided. After hearing Lupin disappear beside him, he smiled at his uncle's gasp of fear and followed his lead.

………………………………………………………………………………………….

With a pop, Harry landed on his feet next to the man, who hastily walked to the door of the headquarters. "Come, don't waste any time."

"Is everybody here?"

"Yes. Hermione arrived the day before last. They are all anxious to see you again."

"I'm sure they are," he muttered under his breath.

Lupin took his trunk and told Harry to head to the kitchen, where Harry knew his friends were waiting. He was extremely close to just blowing the whole thing off and run off to a place where he could be alone. He had things to take care of.

"Harry dear!" exclaimed Mrs. Weasley. "I'm so glad to see you! How have you been?"

He noticed the penetrating gleam in her eye, scanning for a trace of a lie. Knowing that he couldn't fool her he decided to be honest. "I don't really know, I guess."

"Well, you're here with us. That's all that matters now."

No it isn't, he wanted to say. Voldemort was somewhere out there and he was relaxing here doing nothing and suffering from annoying questions by Ron and Hermione.

"Go upstairs, dear. Ron and Hermione are there."

He nodded, seeing no point in disagreeing. He couldn't run away now.

The moment Harry opened the door, he felt an odd sensation of happiness. His friends were there, in the flesh, still by his side. Still alive. It was a good feeling.

"Harry!" Hermione squealed. "Oh, it's so good to see you! We've been so bored without you."

Ron gave him a pat on the back. "About time! Did the Muggles give you hell?"

"No. Seemed pretty glad to see me leave though. I think they're celebrating right now."

Hermione laughed. "And now you will to. No more Dursleys!"

The smile on Ron's face darkened, and Harry knew what was coming. "So you aren't going to Hogwarts?"

Harry walked over to the chair by the window and stared out with angry eyes. The silence was deafening. "No."

"But, Harry," Hermione sighed. "How are you going to learn new spells to fight? You need it more than anyone else. We have to go back anyway, why not you too?"

"Look, I'll have to go there every now and then, but I can't stay. The Room of Requirement is there, the Chamber of Secrets, and Dumbledore's portrait. I'll have to use all of them at one point in time."

Hermione and Ron glanced tentatively at each other. Harry could feel their eyes burning at his back.

"You can't go alone, Harry. My whole family is in the Order, so I have a reason to go with you. Hermione has been with us since first year. How would you have been able to do half of the stuff you've done without her?"

"You aren't going." Harry's voice was dangerously bitter. They were getting close to step over that invisible line he crossed with Dumbledore.

Hermione's words did it. "Harry, you aren't thinking properly. You never do when you act rashly like this. What makes you think you'd have a chance without anyone assisting?"

Harry rose to his feet and shoved the chair to the ground. "Just shut it! Dumbledore died. He left me like Sirius and my parents did. He died like Cedric, in murder! The one person that could help me and give me advice is gone. I will not let the same thing happen to any of you. I'm sick of feeling this pain, all right? Don't let me feel it again when it happens to you, because I won't feel sad. I'll be angry for you letting me feel it again. I would hate you forever."

No one spoke. Both of Ron and Hermione's mouths were open in shock. Harry couldn't bear looking at them. They never understood anything. Never. Harry collapsed onto the bed and glanced miserably out the window.

"You really are selfish, Harry," mumbled Hermione. "Completely selfish."

"Leave me alone."

He was slightly surprised to hear Ron comply. "Gladly. Come on, Hermione, let's go to the kitchen so Harry can brood."

They shut the door and Harry flung the pillow against it in rage. He was happy about it though. As long as they hated his guts, they would stay away. But what was he going to do? He knew that Nagini was possible to be a horcrux. The sword of Gryffindor, he knew, was out. It was kept secure away from Voldemort, from what Dumbledore seemed to tell him. Frustrated, Harry shoved his face into the blankets and hoped to suffocate.

Meanwhile, Ron and Hermione had entered the kitchen in bad spirits, which made Lupin and Mrs. Weasley ask them the matter.

"Harry," Ron muttered. "He's being stupid again."

"He's not being stupid, Ron," Hermione cut in. "He just doesn't know how to act."

Mrs. Weasley put her foot down on the issue. "What are you talking about?"

Hermione glanced at Ginny, who she just noticed for the first time and glanced down nervously at the floor. Getting some courage, she stared directly at Lupin.

"Do you know what Harry is planning to do since he isn't going to Hogwarts?"

Lupin appeared very alarmed. "He's not going back? What does he think he's doing?"

"Going after You-Know-Who." Ron stated flatly.

"WHAT!" Ginny, Mrs. Weasley and Lupin screamed at once.

"No, no!" Hermione shouted over the noise. She glared fiercely at Ron. "He's not going to do that directly. Dumbledore told him that he had to do something. We can't tell you what it is exactly, Harry said Dumbledore didn't want anybody to know."

"We want to help him, but he said no and made a big issue about it," Ron said with irritation. "Who the bloody hell does he think he is to tell us that?"

Ginny appeared frightened. "He's leaving us all? What will happen to him?"

Mrs. Weasley stood up quickly in protest. "He is NOT going anywhere if I have a say in it, I don't care what Dumbledore said."

Remus put his hands on his chin and gazed blankly at the table in deep thought. He was astounded that Harry had the nerve to plan all this in secret. What he didn't understand was what he was planning to do exactly, and how.

"I will have a talk with him." He rose from the table and crossed the room before anyone could object.

Harry was counting the seconds his face was shoved into the bed when someone burst into the room. Alarmed, he broke for air at sixteen.

"What are you playing at, Harry? Where do you think you are going to run off without any of the Order following?"

" I can't tell you, Remus. Dumbledore didn't want anyone else to—"

"I don't care, Harry. Dumbledore is dead now. In case you did not realize, I am responsible for you now."

Harry grew irritated. "Says who?"

"Don't get smart. What are you going to do for him?"

Harry wanted to get angry, he really did. But the truth was burying deep inside his heart that it felt like an anchor. What _was_ he going to have to do? He didn't even know where to start.

Lupin was troubled by his silence. "Harry, you must tell me. Please, perhaps I can help you."

To Harry's fear, a hard lump tightened his throat and tears swelled in his eyes. What was wrong with him? "You can't do anything, sir. I can't even help myself."

Remus sighed and sat on the bed next to him. Harry didn't flinch when he placed his arm around his shoulder. "Whatever the struggle is, it cannot be done alone. You know this. What do you fear in letting others know?"

" I truly cannot tell anyone, but I don't want people to come because it's likely they will die and I will have to live to see it."

"You live in a time of war, Harry. There will always be many casualties. You, Harry, just fear to lose those who have given love to you when no one else would. I understand. I lost Lily, James, Sirius and Dumbledore, who all stood up for me and accepted me for who I was. I don't want to see you end up the same as they. Very few remain for me, but you have many. Don't try to get rid of them by ignoring the help given to you."

There was a silence that made Harry settle into a decision. It seemed an easy one to make, and once he chose it, he knew it was right. "I want you to go with me," he whispered. "Only you. The others Aurors can work around us while we go straight into the task."

"Will you tell me what it is?"

"Yes. It is pointless to hide it any longer."

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

Ginny sat tapping a spoon on the table as dinner was served, thinking about Lupin and Harry talking upstairs. What was taking so long? She also felt as if she was being left out of something important. Ron and Hermione knew what was going on, and probably Lupin by now. Harry was her boyfriend…….well, ex-boyfriend (not if she could help it), so she should be filled in on what was happening too!

"Ginny, dear," her mother called to her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she mumbled in her soup.

"You know, it's useless to even try to talk to him," Ron said. "He's the one who broke up with you, I wouldn't try it again."

Hermione whacked him on the head and told him to shut up. Ginny, however, was seething. "Would you stop being so stupid! Harry is just under a lot of strain."

Ron laughed, mocking her. "Just wait until you learn what he's up to. Then you'll know what I'm talking about."

"Ronald Weasley!" his mother shouted. "I don't want to hear your voice again."

It wasn't until everyone was finished with their meals that both Harry and Remus Lupin entered the kitchen in silence. It seemed as if Harry was both relieved and upset, and Remus was blown away by something he was told. Neither of them glanced at anybody as they settled into the bowls set before them. It made Ginny nervous.

"What happened?" Molly asked worriedly.

Harry looked Lupin in the eyes, who nodded slightly in response. With a deep intake of breath, Harry decided to break the news. He went into detail about what Dumbledore had said about Horcruxes and how they were linked to Voldemort. He explained the purpose of them and why it was important to get rid of their existence.

"That's what he wanted me to continue. I have to get the rest of them and then get close to Voldemort to destroy him. The last one is in him, then he will be mortal again."

Mrs. Weasley had tears rolling down her face and clutched onto Ginny, who felt her eyes stabbing into Harry.

"Lupin and I will go sometime soon. Just so that you all are warned."

"Ron and Hermione." Remus said quietly. "Harry will not be alone. The Order and I will be with him. I must ask you to respect Harry's wish for you to remain here."

"But we were always there with him for everything! Everything at school we did together!" Ron shouted, completely shocked that Lupin would object. Harry glanced away painfully.

"Enough," Lupin ordered. "We can discuss this later. Right now I'm afraid Harry and I have to eat our dinner."

"You heard the man," Molly said. "Enough."


	2. Confessions and Goodbyes

**For some reason I think this chapter is cute. I guess it has to do with Harry being open for once and Ginny finding out his fears. Very few get the privilege. **

Chapter 2 Confessions and Good-byes

It was the night before Ron, Hermione and Ginny were to leave for Hogwarts and Harry was lying idly on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Ron was somewhere downstairs with Hermione, (most likely talking about him) and the thought of it made him slightly crestfallen. He loved his friends with all his heart. Hurting them the way he was was unbearable, but it was necessary. That was what he kept repeating to himself, anyway.

"Harry?" a voice said softly after a brief knock. Harry moved his eyes to the door and saw Ginny's head peeking through timidly. "Can I come in? Just for a little while?"

He felt his stomach tighten, but he didn't want to make her more upset than she already was. "Yeah, come in. What's wrong?"

Ginny gave him a familiar smirk and laughed quietly, "Are you that thick, Harry?" Sitting down next to him, she tilted her head and gazed steadily into his eyes. "I'm going to miss you, you know? Hogwarts won't be the same."

Harry laughed. "I suppose Ron and Hermione won't have any adventures since I'm not there to stir something up. That would get dull."

"Will you just promise me that you and Lupin will be careful? This is much more dangerous than anything you have ever done. I mean, it's hard to think that this might just be the end to everything, however it ends."

The request Ginny made to him frightened Harry in an odd way. How could he commit to such a demand when he could barely fathom the seriousness himself. She seemed to notice, and he felt the bed sheets pull away, as if she was clenching her fists.

"I want to give you that peace, Gin, but I can't. I can't tell you for certain that things will go well for us. I want to badly, but saying it would be a terrible lie. I can't tell you a lie, or give a promise I could break."

Ginny shuddered in the response of a sob and held her tears in. She knew that she was asking for too much. "I just wish it wasn't you that had to do this. While all of us worry about O.W.L.S, you fear for the safety of our world. I want to take every bad thing you suffered from away, even if you could only experience true happiness for five minutes." She looked away, embarrassed. "I just love you and don't want to see you hurt anymore."

He didn't want to admit it, but Harry was struck by something he never felt before. It was an understanding and sadness at once in such quantity that he couldn't compute it in his mind. Someone understood him.

"I wish it too," he whispered. "I often wonder what it would be like if everything was the way it was supposed to be, but it isn't. It never will be. And you know what? I'm glad. Never thought I would say that, but I am glad that these trials shaped me to be the person I am today. I would have never met Ron and Hermione, and definitely not you in the way that we are together now. It may sound stupid, but your friendship, from all of you, keep me going."

Ginny smiled through tears and wiped her face. "I'm happy it does."

Harry smile faltered when the thought of the quest flashed in his mind. It was frustrating to think they had to find four more horcruxes while escaping Death Eaters and Voldemort himself.

"I really don't want to do this, you know? He said quietly. "I don't want to thrust my life into something I have no idea what the outcome would be, but surprisingly, I don't think I'm as afraid as I once was. I still think about, well, dying I guess, but it just seems that doing this is more important than that and fear. It's like making a bargain, you could say. I just have to make a deal with Death. Tell it to stay away as long as possible to do what I have to do, then it can do as it pleases with me. If only it were that easy."

"What else are you afraid of besides our lives, Harry? Dying?"

Harry stared sadly at the floor. Afraid of death? "No. I'm afraid of…of…dying alone. You know what I mean? My greatest fear is to be bleeding to death in the cold and be thinking about how I could have changed things. How I could at least have someone hold my hand when I slowly die. I just don't want to ever be alone."

"Oh, Harry," she whispered. "You'll never die alone." Ginny wrapped her arm around his shoulder and kissed the side of his face gently several times, hoping to give him hope.

Harry wondered if she even comprehended what he was saying, or if she was just disturbed by it. Talking about dying wasn't exactly the perfect conversation at the moment, and he quickly dropped it when she sniffled.

"Look, all of you will have fun at Hogwarts no matter what. Don't worry about us. I'm like a cat, you know? I have many lives."

Suppressing a giggle, Ginny smiled brightly. "I hope you have at least five lives left then."

Harry gave a half-hearted smile and glanced at the floor. He had to tell her what was on his mind, it was eating at him terribly. "Ginny, you know that I would still want our relationship to keep going. I'm sorry it didn't. I want to love like everybody else does, you know? To be able to know how to love without being afraid of losing it."

"Harry, don't, "

"I don't want to lose anything else. I love you so much, believe me, Gin, but for your sake, it's over."

Ginny let out a short sob and laughed, "You're such a selfish prat, you know that, Harry?"

He snickered briefly. "Yeah, Hermione already told me that. But you do realize, that if I come back when this is all done and over with, I'll come for you."

"And am I supposed to be waiting?" She asked smartly.

Smiling, Harry answered, "With a hot meal ready on the table and a nice kiss on the cheek."

The night was silent as Hermione dozed in her bed. Ginny was asleep on the opposite one on the other side of the room, and was breathing softly. Hermione, far off in the distance, heard the door creak open. Before she could think about what it was, a hand pressed over her mouth.

"Mhhhf!" she screamed, bolting up from her blankets. She tried to fight off whoever was grasping her, but he was too strong.

"Hermione, relax," a familiar voice whispered in her ear. "It's me."

"Harry? What are you doing, it's the middle of then night!"

He sat on the bed, and she noticed he was fully dressed. "Look, Hermione, I need you to do something important. Can I trust you?"

"Yes, but what are you doing? Why aren't you in your pajamas?"

"Shh! Don't wake Ginny." He glanced over nervously as she rolled over in her sleep. "Hermione, listen. Remus and I are leaving in a half-hour. We're going to Godric's Hollow, then to find the horcruxes. We think we know someone who could help us."

"Now? You're leaving now? Why not tomorrow morning when you can say goodbye?"

Harry held down her panicked hands and sighed. "Remus said so. I don't know why exactly. But I need you to do something for me. Sirius' brother has some books about horcruxes in the old study upstairs, you know where it is. You'll know it when you see it. Lupin and I read it awhile back, so we won't need it, but I need you to. Only you can help us, Hermione. You can help locate them and describe the details about how to destroy them. Can you do that?"

Winded, she replied. "Of course, Harry. I'll do anything. But what are you going to do about Ron and Ginny? What do I tell them when they realize you are gone?"

Harry's sadness seemed to cave in on him. She saw the tears glitter from the moonlight as he fought to hold them in. "Don't tell them what you know. I've already written them notes, but I'm afraid that's all I can do." He pulled an envelope out and placed it on her dresser. "This one's yours, just so they don't suspect anything."

"Oh, Harry," she whispered. "What are you going to do?"

He sat in silence and stared at the form of Ginny sleeping. "I don't know, Hermione. I don't know anything."

After saying this Harry lowered his head and gave a short sob. At once, Hermione grasped him into her arms and squeezed him tightly. She feared for his life far more than she ever had before. She realized that Harry was still human. He still had feelings and weaknesses that plagued him. There was so much pressure weighed down upon him, yet he challenged it despite it all.

"Lupin wants a word with you too," he whispered. "He's down in the kitchen. I need to say goodbye to Ginny, though."

"You're going to wake her?"

He shook his head. Hermione watched sadly as he bent down to his knees and stroked the red hair softly, then her pale face.

Harry heard Hermione leave behind him and released another sob. He loved Ginny so much, but he couldn't wake her. He couldn't say goodbye like he wanted to. Cradling her head, Harry pressed his lips against her forehead and left them there, feeling her skin against his. Would he come back to see her again?

The morning sun woke Ginny up several hours later. Blinking, she sat up and saw Hermione curled into a ball on her bed, and it looked as if she was crying.

"Hermione, what is it?"

Without saying a word, her weeping friend pointed to an envelope thrown onto the floor. Ginny stared at it in confusion. "What is it?"

"You have one too, on your pillow."

She did. The paper had her name written on it in a familiar handwriting. Shaking, she tore it open and began reading. Panic began to take over her after each line.

_Ginny—_

_I'm leaving now to find the horcruxes, and I don't know when we will be back. Don't write we will write to you, and please be careful at Hogwarts. I don't have much time, so I just wanted to tell you that I love you, and I'm sorry that I could not give you a proper goodbye. I promise I will return. Lupin says we will stay awhile for Christmas, and I am excited to see you then. When everything is over, we will finally be together, I promise you._

_Love, always,_

_Harry Potter_

Ginny didn't have time to scream in fear before Ron came bursting into the room. "WHAT DOES HE THINK HE'S DOING!" They saw him throw an envelope on the ground angrily before kicking it away. "HE JUST LEFT AND DIDN'T EVEN TELL US! WHAT THE HELL IS HE THINKING?"

"Ron, please calm down," Hermione said softly. Ginny noticed that she was shaking. "At least he left these for us."

"Hermione, he LEFT us behind! We were supposed to go with him, who cares what he or Lupin said. Don't you care at all?"

"Of course I do," she retorted. "I'm worried out of my mind about them. But, Ron, you have to understand that this is Harry's fight. He can do it."

Fueled with rage, his face flushed crimson. Ginny had never seen him so angry before in her life. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" He stormed out of the room and slammed the door, and the girls heard the portrait from downstairs begin to scream.

"Don't worry about Harry, Ginny. He'll be fine. And Ron, he's just afraid for Harry."

Ginny nodded and tears fell down her face. "So am I. I just keep thinking that if anything happens, I could have done something to help him if I were there. It's not fair."

"I know," Hermione replied with a dead voice. "I'm sure Harry feels the same way about everything. Nothing is fair at all."

**I KNOW THAT YOU ALL ARE THINKING THAT I RUSH, AND I AM. I CANT GET INTO THE MOOD, SO I'M GOING TO DO SOME JUMPING AROUND. MOST OF WHAT I WRITE ARE SCENES, AND I DON'T HAVE TIME TO PUT ALL OF THEM INTO A STORY. YOU ALL HAVE AN IMAGINATION, I'M SURE YOU CAN PIECE EVERYTHING TOGETHER. LOVE YOU GUYS! **


	3. Harry Returns

**This had some parts that I had one scene that I wanted to put in, but had to make up tons of other stuff in order for it to be stretched out enough. That's why my story is ridiculously long…not as long as that one story that is 50 chapters. The Fifth House? I recommend it! Anyway, I have another section of the story like this…the train part, but I forgot which chapter that is.**

Chapter 3 Harry Returns

It was the dinner feast at Hogwarts in the month of November and Hermione played idly with her food. They had received a letter from Harry and Remus two days prior, and it had been only the second one they ever got. Ron and Ginny were saying nothing about it, and Hermione didn't like that.

"They destroyed Hufflepuff's goblet, that's one horcrux down. Why aren't you two happy about it?"

"We should have been there to help him," Ron snapped. "Didn't he say that they were hurt? What if we were there?"

Ginny replied, "It wasn't that bad. One day at St. Mungo's and they were fine."

"Oh, don't act like you aren't worried. We should have been able to see him there."

There was a short silence before Hermione spoke, "You miss him, don't you?"

Ron stabbed his potato angrily. "No. He's being an idiot like he always is."

"Face it, Ron, your best mate is off fighting and here you don't have that friendship. You're worried about losing him."

"OF COURSE I'M WORRIED! HARRY'S OFF FIGHTING AND HERE WE ARE HAVING A GOOD TIME! HE COULD BE IN TROUBLE FOR ALL WE KNOW!"

Several students glanced in their direction, but with one glare from Ron, they spun around in their seats.

"Ron," Hermione said quickly, staring off toward the entrance. Ginny froze.

"No, just shut up. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"No, Ron, look!" She pointed and Ron felt his insides tighten. The other students began talking excitedly and whispering amongst themselves. There, standing with Filch, were Harry and Remus. Both appeared completely exhausted and stressed. He could see the scars on Harry's neck from where they sat. The burns he received stretched on the right side, and two smaller ones were etched across his right cheek. Remus looked almost the same, but most of his injuries were far less intensive than Harry's. The attack came from a dragon that protected the goblet in an abandoned castle near Cardiff, in Wales. Harry was able to get the horcrux without troubles, but the dragon caught up with the two of them. Lupin attacked the eyes, and Harry used the Sword of Griffyndor to slay it. That was all that they explained.

Filch led the pair down the hall, glowering at anyone who dared to look at him. Ron met Harry's worn eyes and felt himself fill with excitement. Harry grinned and made a move toward them, but Lupin blocked his path and steered him back. Frowning, Harry obeyed and turned his eyes sadly away from Ron. Dumbfounded, the three of them watched as they marched up toward the teacher's table, where McGonagall stood waiting.

"Why did Lupin do that?" Ginny asked. "We haven't seen Harry in almost three months."

"I don't know," Hermione muttered.

The crowds were still murmuring as the group was in discussion. Ron was beginning to get annoyed. McGonagall's eyebrows were fixed together in scrutiny at Harry as he spoke, and shook her head. Lupin's jaw hitched and he seemed to throw her more unpleasant words that she was disturbed about.

McGonagall raised her hands. "Quiet, quiet. Would you please excuse us at this time? I have some matters at hand to deal with, and now I leave you in the care of your professors."

They walked quickly down the aisle once more, but as Ron tried to get Harry's attention, Lupin shook his head warily. The expression on the man's face almost frightened him. Remus had never appeared so rigid.

"What is Lupin playing at?" Ginny hissed behind him. "He won't even let Harry look at us!"

IN McGONAGALL'S OFFICE

"He's over there," Minerva said briskly. "I'll leave you alone."

She disappeared in a hurry, and Harry glanced in uncertainty at Remus. "Let's ask him then." The man replied.

Harry felt a small flame of happiness light up in his chest when his eyes fell upon the twinkling eyes of Albus Dumbledore sitting in his chair. The portrait was near Fawkes' perch, and from there, the headmaster smiled.

"Well, well, finally we come to visit. I was beginning to feel forgotten back here!"

"Dumbledore! Nice to see you again. Well, sort of.." Harry said sheepishly.

The man chuckled. "Sorry it has to be in this way. Now what do I owe the pleasure?"

"We destroyed the goblet," Lupin answered. "Now there is only three more left."

Dumbledore appeared delighted. "Splendid! Where was the old thing anyway?"

"In some castle in Wales." He replied. "It wasn't easy." Remus indicated to Harry's scars and Dumbledore strained to get a better look.

"Dear, boy! I didn't even notice! Dragon, I presume?" Harry saw that his old headmaster appeared rattled and alarmed at the sight of his wounds.

"Yes," Harry said quietly. "At least we made it out. It could have been worse."

"Indeed," he muttered softly to himself.

Remus cleared his throat. "Sir, what do we do now? Hermione said something about a shield. Would that be the Ravenclaw horcrux?"

"I'm afraid I don't know much besides the existence of Helga's goblet. Harry and I were trying to sort it all out last year, but as you can see, that came to an end."

"Because of Snape," Harry growled. "I swear if I see him again…"

"Harry," the old man said sternly. "I know that what you saw confirms your thoughts about Severus Snape, but I must tell you that you are mistaken."

"Mistaken?' Harry yelled. "I know what I saw!"

"Harry, please listen. Severus had told me in the beginning of last year that he was made to perform an Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa Malfoy. She had made him swear that he would watch over her son and finish the job in case young Draco could not go through with it. That was to kill me, and he indeed failed to do so. Severus had no choice and he needed to live, not die like he would have. He is an instrumental use to us all on both sides, and I must insist that you continue to trust him. He knows what he is doing, Harry."

"Sure, and I bet Snape was glad to make that vow."

"No. He almost declined when it came to him finishing the task Draco was ordered to do, but he had to do it in the presence of two Death Eaters. Especially Bellatrix, who doubted his loyalty to begin with."

Harry didn't reply. His thoughts were confused and cluttered. All the exhaustion seemed to override him suddenly.

"We think that we can get help again," Lupin added. "People are willing to listen now, but knowing who can be trusted is another problem. That Mitchard fellow was extremely helpful. He claimed he was one of the first few followers of Voldemort before he went too far. Mitchard was confided to the location by Tom Riddle, then disappeared. He was lucky enough to escape him this long, but he believes he doesn't have much more time."

Dumbledore nodded. "If Voldemort catches on, he will realize it."

"Does the Ministry have to get involved?" Harry mumbled. "The Minister is following me again."

"There is not much that the Ministry CAN do," the headmaster replied. "This isn't their understanding at all. I doubt anyone could even tell you what a horcrux is. The only useful thing is to maintain wizards for protection of the people. Tom is much too clever for the Ministry to stumble upon their hideout."

"We'll work on it longer," Remus sighed. "It's been a long three months."

"Yes indeed," Dumbledore replied, concentrating on Harry. "Are you having dreams from Voldemort at all?"

Harry felt uncomfortable under the man's gaze. It was like he was trying to make a point. "Um, no. He's been gone for awhile now. I can try to get into him if you want me to."

"No." Lupin said unexpectedly.

"I agree," Albus said brightly. "That won't be necessary. And speaking of dreams, you two ought to get to rest. Both of you look as if you could sleep standing up."

"Very well, Dumbledore," Remus replied. "We'll be in touch."

"Oh, please do. It gets rather lonesome here. All Minerva does is yell at me to be quiet!"

As Harry and Remus walked down the hallways they could hear students talking loudly as they walked upstairs to their dormitories. Everyone seemed to be excited.

"Do you believe what he said about Snape?" Harry asked, trying to ignore the fact that his friends could be one of them.

"I suppose. It seems to fit." Harry folded his arms around his chest and said nothing. Remus went on, "You have to understand some things. Snape does not really have a side. He fights for himself to stay alive while doing what needs to be done. He sees Voldemort as a respectful wizard who is abusing his power, not as an evil monster like we do. He sees Dumbledore in the same sense, but he had control. When Dumbledore showed him mercy, Snape saw the difference between good and evil, Harry. Snape knows what he is doing now that he can live in both environments."

"It will take awhile," Harry said lowly. "After what I saw I can't say that I forgive him just yet."

"All forgiveness takes time."

Harry nodded briefly, but then froze in his tracks. The last batch of students was leaving the hall, and his friends were among them walking behind a group of first years.

"Please, Lupin. I just want to talk to them for one minute. Just one!"

Remus sighed. "You know that you have to get used to being alone, Harry. They won't be there for you, that's how you wanted it."

"I know, but I can't let them think that I want to forget them."

The man sighed again. "Only a minute."

Harry almost leaped with joy, and he hadn't felt so happy in a long time. Ginny was the first to see him as he came closer, and her eyes quickly filled with tears.

"HARRY!"

Ginny flung herself into his arms and kissed him hard on the mouth. "I missed you so much!"

Ron and Hermione nearly knocked him off his feet as they careened into them. The girls shed tears, and Ron embraced Harry so tightly that he could have been Hermione. All of them spoke at once.

"Oh, it's been so boring—"

"I can't believe you're here—"

"Where have you been—"

"I'm so excited—"

Harry laughed and gently pushed them away. "I need to breathe you guys!"

Hermione's smile faltered as her eyes focused on his scars. "You didn't tell us about that. You just said that you and Lupin were hurt."

"Well, I didn't want you to worry. Besides, they're ugly and I don't like talking about them."

The dangerous hitch in Harry's voice made them worried that he would get angry again, so the subject was changed.

"Do you know where to find the next one?"

Harry sighed. "Not a clue. We think it's a shield though." He glanced briefly at Hermione and gave her a smile.

"Well at least you have some idea," Ron replied. He was in the best mood he had ever been in since school began.

"Harry," Remus said from behind. "We need to go."

Everyone grew quiet. Harry doubted that he even had a minute and he broke it unwillingly. "Sorry. I'll see you all again. I promise."

Ginny and Hermione hugged him tightly and kissed him goodbye. Harry felt saddened again. Lupin jerked him away and told the others to move on.

"Hey," Ron said sincerely. "It was great seeing you two again."

Harry gave a small smile and nodded as he watched his friends walk away. Remus did the same but kept his eyes ahead, and Harry wondered if the man ever felt emotion at all.

At Grimmauld Place, Mrs. Weasley quickly threw plates in front of them and bustled nervously around the kitchen. "I have been so worried! Neither of you sent an owl for two weeks, and Harry! Oh, you poor child. Why couldn't they heal your scars?"

"They said that fire from the species of dragon can't be healed if it burns. That's why Vold—I mean, You-Know-Who chose it."

Mrs. Weasley stared at him for a brief moment before suppressing a small whimper. Harry was already self-conscious about the scar on his forehead, and now he had more to fuss about.

Harry ate his food in lassitude and couldn't help but feel sorry for himself. Here he was, beaten down to nothing, and the short conversation with his friends only made the knife twist deeper into his chest. All he wanted to do was sleep.

"You did well, Harry. I am proud of you."

He didn't respond. Remus sighed in exasperation, and it seemed that he did that a lot now. "What troubles you, Harry?"

"Everything," he said honestly, as if the man should have known. "I'm just tired of everything."

"I am as well, but if we stop Voldemort will triumph. That must be stopped at all costs. What you need is rest, and I suggest that you do that right now."

Lupin grabbed his empty plate and dumped it into the sink, but was alarmed to see that Harry still sat there. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

Remus pulled up a chair next to him and leaned close. "Harry, something is wrong. Is it your friends?"

"No."

"Dumbledore?" Harry said nothing in response once more. Lupin put his hand gently on his shoulder. "Is that what's wrong?"

Harry ripped his hand off and stood facing the man with enraged, teary, eyes. "Everything is wrong, don't you see that? I just want to live like everyone else, why is that so hard! I want to be a kid and have a childhood but I can't. I want to have a family but I can't. I'm just so sick of everything that is happening. Don't you ever feel that way?"

"Of course I do, Harry. I've lost everyone that has ever meant anything to me too. What people like us need to do is find a purpose in life. I have found it, and so have you. We have to salvage what is left of what we love. Giving up is like losing them all over again."

"I'm tired," Harry said delicately. "Goodnight."

That evening Harry pondered on what Dumbledore had asked him. He wasn't having dreams anymore, and he knew it was because Voldemort felt that it was foolish now that Harry could drive him out by love, as Dumbledore said. Harry hated that word. Love. It was so complicated. But what IF he could get into the Dark Lord's mind? What would he see? He suddenly felt the urge to cause the man pain. Emotional pain that Harry had to see over and over again throughout his life. Smiling, he knew exactly what to show him.

Harry lay on his bed and relaxed his mind. He felt himself drift away as he concentrated carefully on what he intended to do. Shockingly, it felt as if Harry DID understand what to do. His body felt odd, as if it didn't exist and he was only a spirit. All at once, he felt himself enclosed in something evil, something not even human. Trying not to panic, Harry moved forward.

Images were conjured in Voldemort's mind that night. Terrible visions flashed of men, women and children screaming out in pain. The pain that he caused. He saw himself as a child glaring at the other orphans who talked about him behind his back. The face of Dumbledore rattled his mind with the old man's words talking to him, warning him of the path he was taking. Then with a flash he saw his doom. Harry's parents illuminated before him and Cedric encircled the group of hundreds of innocent dead. Suddenly, Harry brought his voice into the chaos.

"I can return to you your weapon of fear. I know what you are afraid of and what your weakness is Tom. I would be careful if I were you."

With a violent thrust, Harry was coerced out of the Dark Lord's insanity and jolted back into his own. He sprang up into a sitting position and mopped the sweat off of his forehead with shaky hands. That was how Voldemort did it! Harry was glad that the Dark Lord forced him out before he did anything else. The form of the locket horcrux was creeping into his brain waiting to be projected. If that had happened, Voldemort would have known everything.


	4. Harry is Missing

**This has the Weasley's Christmas in it too, and the Twins add some humor.**

Chapter 4 Harry is Missing

The months passed and Christmas vacation came after an uneventful winter. Ginny was extremely excited to see Harry at last. In a letter their mother had mentioned that Remus and Harry had written, explaining that they were returning as planned for Christmas. It was a wonderful feeling to think about it.

"Hurry up!" Ron ordered behind Hermione. "We need to get a compartment."

Hermione turned and glared at him from the platform. "You know, whether I hurry or not, we will still get there at the same time."

"Whatever. Harry will be waiting for us."

Ginny hauled the remaining luggage that she had and closed the door of the Hogwarts Express. At once steam bellowed from the smokestack, and they were finally on their way home.

"I can't wait!" Ron exclaimed as he shut the door to their compartment. "I wonder if they destroyed the next horcrux. He should write to us more often so that we can stay in touch and up to date now and then."

"Well, they aren't just finding the horcruxes," Hermione put in. "They are still trying to get some of the creatures away from Voldemort. Hagrid wasn't as successful as he could have been."

"Nah, giants are just stubborn like that. I think Hagrid was out of his league."

"Especially when it came to Grawp." Ginny said smiling.

"No kidding," both Ron and Hermione said aloud.

A knock came from the window and the three of them turned to see Neville's worried face, carrying a recent copy of the Daily Prophet, and Luna stood behind him looking quite content.

"What's up with you, Neville?" Ginny asked as she let them inside.

Neville wrapped his hands nervously around the paper and stuttered incoherent words that wouldn't come out of his mouth. He seemed on the verge of having a panic attack.

"Did you get today's news?" he finally spewed out.

Hermione felt her breath hitch in her chest. Across from her she noticed that both Ron and Ginny were also alarmed. "No, why? What happened?"

"Death Eaters attacked a settlement in Leeds," Luna replied nonchalantly. "A lot of people died."

"That's terrible!" Ginny gasped. "Why were they there? Who died?"

"It didn't say about anything like that," Neville muttered. "But it did say that both Professor Lupin and Harry were seen fighting."

Ron leaped to his feet and snatched the paper out of Neville's hands. "When was this?"

"It happened yesterday!" said Luna happily. Everyone stared at her in disbelief.

"What makes you so jolly about it?" Ron asked in a flare of anger.

Luna sighed dreamily and stared out the train window. "I'm just so blown away that dear Harry is fighting so bravely. Makes me so proud to call him a friend."

Ginny, who had become steadily more crimson, exploded, "And I'm sure that if Harry died you would be glad to say that you knew him! He doesn't mean anything to you at all, Luna."

She seemed unabashed. "Indeed not! Unlike most people, Harry never called me Loony Luna. All of you worry about him, like you should, but I am proud to see him fight for what needs to be fought for. He is so wonderful!" Another smile was slapped across her face and the silence following her statement was cut off with Ron's nervous voice.

"It says that Harry and Lupin were there for "unknown" reasons and were luckily in the area while Aurors were called in. Either they aren't working for the Ministry, or the Ministry itself is saying nothing about it at all. I guess they don't want the Death Eaters to know too much.'

"Or anyone for that matter." Hermione said lightly.

"Do you think Harry will still come for Christmas?" Ginny asked in a small voice.

Ron seemed to jump out of his thoughts. "Of course he will! He may not be there today, but later he will. He said he would."

Hermione hoped that he was right.

The Hogwarts Express pulled into Platform 9 ¾ and parents were waving furiously from the outside. Ron and Ginny found themselves crushed in their mother's arms as they tossed their belongings out the door.

"Oh, finally! Hurry now, we must get back. Is Hermione here?"

"Right here, Mrs. Weasley," she called from inside the train. "Just saying goodbye to Neville."

"Good, good, now let's run along. Your father is waiting outside."

"Mum, we heard about yesterday," Ron said nervously. "Harry and Lupin are okay, right?"

Mrs. Weasley shrugged hopelessly. "They have not written, but I assure you they are fine. We cannot talk here, so hurry up and let's get home."

The mood inside Grimmauld Place was dead. Tonks arrived later that day and gave news that no one had heard from either Harry or Lupin. Everyone was restless.

"Don't worry about them," she said almost definitely. "If they were dead, the Ministry would have known about it. Death Eaters will be excited to share that if it were true."

Ron whispered under his breath to Hermione. "I don't know if I should be content with that or not."

If there was one person who wasn't content, it had to be Ginny. Every day that passed pushed more of a burden on her shoulders thinking about what Harry was going through at the exact moment. Was he in pain? Was he captured? More importantly…. Was he dead? No! she screamed in her head. Of course he isn't. Don't ever think of that again.

To pass the time, Molly gave them an endless list of chores that included getting rid of the annoying doxies in the curtains, to scrubbing the wooden floors by hand. None of it made anyone feel any better.

"Does she think we ought to be regretting something?" Ron gasped as he scrubbed a stain repeatedly. "What did we do to deserve this? It's worse than anything Filch could think of."

"She doesn't want us thinking about it," Hermione replied in a whisper, glancing over at Ginny far off, who was weakly scratching at the wood. "You know what I mean?"

"So," he retorted. "It's not like I CAN'T think about it. Just staring at this stupid wood makes me think about it. Mum wants us to believe that everything is fine, but I know that she cries at night. Heard her the other day."

There was a brief silence where the only thing heard was the grazing of the brushes. Troubled, Hermione stopped and threw the brush gently on the ground. She sat against the wall and blinked back the tears that threatened to leak out of her eyes.

"Oh, but Ron, what if something _did_ happen? I don't want to see Harry hurt again. I just want all of this to be over."

Immediately, Ron came to her side and out his hand on her shoulder. "Nothing happened, Hermione. Both of them are fine and are making their way back. They'll come, I promise." He wondered if he made a mistake, promising something like that. He knew how it felt now to guarantee something that you had no control of. He suddenly realized how fragile Harry's own promise to them was.

It was the twenty-fourth of December, and still there was no sign of Harry or Remus. In her despair, Ginny locked herself in her room and didn't come out the entire day. Mrs. Weasley was at the end of the rope. She could no longer hide her fear in public, and no one else could think of what to do. The Christmas tree was lazily constructed near the main staircase, and decorations were fixed loosely around the banisters and doors. No one was in the Christmas spirit.

Tonks and Mad-Eye arrived late in the afternoon with Fred and George. The mood lightened up a bit from the twins' new products for their shop. One was mistletoe that squirted blubber pus at any couple who stood underneath it, and another had a stuffed elf that did back flips saying, "Happy Christmas!" Mrs. Weasley wasn't entirely thrilled when the cute little elf suddenly bent over and dropped its pants to reveal a rosy bum.

"I have some candy canes for everyone!" Tonks said after the "Happy Christmas" fiasco. "Sorry, but they're all peppermint. Tried to get a variety but the places are either sold out or out of business."

"It's fine, dear," Molly smiled. "As long as it makes everyone happy."

"I won't be overjoyed until I see Potter and Remus," Mad-Eye grumbled. "It's been long enough."

A stabbing silence befell the kitchen. "Alastor, _please!_ Not on Christmas Eve."

"Molly, why must you insist on pretending that it isn't a problem? Obviously your children need someone to talk about this with." He responded.

She sniffed and put a plate of mashed potatoes on the table. "If they talk they worry more because none of us have answers. Why should we dwell on bad thoughts if they may be perfectly safe?"

No one replied. When the table was set, the meal began quietly, and even Fred and George couldn't add anything interesting to the conversation. Mr. Weasley came through the door with bottles of sparkling cider and firewhiskey.

Mrs. Weasley leaned over and whispered into his ear, "Have you hear anything?"

He shook his head sadly and gave her a quick reply. "Nothing at all."

Ginny paled at the response and stared miserably onto her half-eaten plate. Ron noticed and kicked her underneath the table. "It will be okay," he mouthed. Her face showed that she doubted it completely.

That night Hermione lay in bed staring out the window, thinking about the early morning when Harry had waken her. She wished that he would do it again. That he would appear suddenly and laugh about how they distressed about him when he was safe.

"You always did worry too much," he would tell her as his green eyes flashed mischievously. But as the evening drew longer, and colder, she knew he would never come.

Ginny awoke to a loud crack, and two people landing on top of her. "HAPPY CHRISTMAS LITTLE SIS!"

Shrieking, she bolted upward and saw the faces of Fred and George smiling at her. "Wakey wakey!"

"Don't do that!"

"Aw, come on, where's your sense of humor?" Fred laughed. "Here's your present from us. You've got a lot down on the floor too. I think you kicked them off."

Ginny was afraid that they had given her something that would blow up, but when George opened his hands, she saw a squirming puppy. It was a brown daschund that yelped in excitement and licked his fingers.

"Oh, it's so cute!"

"Of course it is," George said matter of factly. "It looks like what Muggles call a hot dog. Its stubby legs are pretty funny too."

"What are you going to name him?"

Ginny didn't know. "I'll have to think about it."

"I think you should name him Mr. Squiggles. He won't sit still for anything."

She snickered. "Really? I think I'll name him Wallace. Don't know why."

Fred put on a Scottish accent. "Ah, the name o' the fierce Sco'ttish wa'rrior! I'm sure the stubby legged beast'll tear te shreds his enemies!"

Ginny shrieked with laughter. Wallace jumped into her lap and kicked his legs wildly to reveal his belly. "Did you tell Mum about him?"

"No," George snorted, as if it didn't matter. "But how could she dare to take away your cute little Christmas present?"

"Anyway," Fred added. "He's potty trained."

"Thanks, you two." She said, and grabbed them both into a hug.

The first thing Ron saw when the door opened was a brown, ear-flopping creature scuttle across the floor. A little dog jumped at his legs and barked ecstatically.

"Ron, meet Wallace," Ginny said with a giggle.

"Who gave it to you?" he asked with a smile. Bending down, he let the dog lick his hands and nibble his thumb.

"Fred and George. They did it without Mum knowing. I wonder how that will go with her."

"She can deal with it."

Ginny came forward and grabbed Wallace into her arms. "What did you get?"

Ron shrugged. "Just stuff. Thanks for the Bertie Botts beans. I already ate a weird flavor that tasted like crap. I'm staring to wonder…."

"Nothing from him?" She asked nervously.

Ron fell silent. Shrugging, he replied quietly, "No."

"Didn't think so."

"Hey, you two," came Hermione's voice. "What did you get?"

Ginny showed her Wallace and a loud coo came from her mouth. "He looks like a weenie dog!"

Ginny saw a smudged parchment clutched in her hand that looked as if the person who wrote it was covered with mud. "What is that, Hermione?"

"What? This old thing?" she asked apprehensively. "Just a piece of paper I found lying in a pile of dust upstairs. In Kreacher's old room."

Ginny wasn't sure if she believed her.

"Well, let's go down for breakfast. I'm starving." Ron said as he bolted out the door. Ginny put her dog on the ground and it barked in excitement as everyone scrambled down the stairs. Of course, the moment they entered the kitchen, Molly's voice screamed in alarm.

"What is it? How did it get in here!"

Ginny couldn't help but laugh as her mother aimed the frying pan in front of her in defense as the little puppy bounced around her heels.

Fred and George claimed responsibility. "Our present for Ginny. Don't worry, it won't pee and poop everywhere."

"His name is Wallace." Ginny said with her eyes gleaming with joy.

"Well, all right, fine. Just keep it away from me right now. But seriously, you two, how could you bring something in like that without telling me first! Really!"

Surprisingly, the day went rather well. Spirits were high and Ginny couldn't remember the last time she felt so blissful. It turned out that Wallace wasn't as potty trained as the twins had thought, because after everyone was done cleaning the attic, the house was aware of Mrs. Weasley's scream from the kitchen.

"Ginny! The animal relieved itself in the potato sacks! Take care of this immediately!"

It was later that afternoon that it was shattered. Lunch had ended and the company had left moments before. Cleaning the plates and silverware was a chore, and Mrs. Weasley forced everyone to help.

"Mum, why do we have to do it the Muggle way?" Ron complained.

"It takes longer. What else do you children have to do?"

Hermione was cleaning the counters when she discovered something under the Daily Prophet. "Mrs. Weasley, Tonks left her bag here. The one with all the Auror paperwork."

"Oh," she sighed, "She'll come back for it, don't worry."

"She always loses stuff." Ron said with a smile. "That woman would lose her head if it wasn't attached."

She glared. "Ron, please."

Far off the doorbell rang. Once, twice, three times.

"That's probably her. You all keep cleaning, I'll get it."

"Here, take her bag with you."

Ginny dumped a large pile of dishes into the sink and attacked them with a sponge. The soap was running low and it would be awhile until they would get more.

"How do Muggles live without magic!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Really, Ron, sometimes you can do stuff on your own."

Suddenly, a scream echoed through the hallway. The three of them froze in terror, and Ginny's had trembled under the faucet.

"What--?" Ron whispered apprehensively.

The sound of hurried footsteps came from the darkness and Mrs. Weasley threw open the door. At once, they gasped. Remus Lupin stood ragged and pale, unable to support himself without Molly's arm. His breathing was irregular, and his body shook like a leaf.

"What are you doing? Get him some tea!" She hollered. Ginny bolted for the cupboard and Hermione put the teapot on the stove. Ron, not knowing what else to do, put food on a plate and slid it in front of the man.

"What has happened?" Molly asked with her hair flying loosely across her face.

"The battle at Leeds…"Lupin's voiced wavered threateningly. "It sent us on the run. Voldemort knows what we're doing now."

"Where's Harry?" Hermione asked anxiously. "Is he okay?"

Remus' eyes grew round in fear. "He's not here?"

A hushed silence caught them in their chest. Ginny felt the panic rise as she cupped her hands over her mouth. What did he mean?

"No," Mrs. Weasley whimpered. "Is he supposed to be?"

"The full moon was three days ago. I forced Harry to go on alone while I took the potion and remained behind. We were to meet up here, but he should have arrived before me. It doesn't make sense." Lupin rubbed his hand through his matted hair and gave a short moan of grief.

"He better not have been caught. Not now."

Mrs. Weasley served him the tea that Hermione gave her and pushed the plate closer. "Harry will be fine, Remus. Eat and drink up. You need rest."

That night Ginny laid in bed in the arms of Hermione, weeping loudly in sorrow of the news. Harry was now definitely in danger.

"Hermione, what could have happened?" she cried in a cacophony of sobs. "Do you think he's okay? What if he's hurting somewhere and we can't reach him?"

"Shh, don't think about it. Harry will be fine, you know how he can get out of bad situations." Hermione replied, trying to also convince herself. "There is nothing we can do."

Ginny moaned and shoved her face into the sodden pillow. All she could think of was how Harry could be lying dead in the snow alone. No one was there to make him feel at peace. "He'll never come back!"

Ron was at the door, pressing his ear to listen to his sister's crying. It made him increasingly depressed. Never come back? He wished that he could give her comfort and know the answer to their worry.

"Damn it, Harry," he whispered against the door. "Where are you?"


	5. Madam Deirdre

**I added a character in here, but I thought it was necessary. Don't worry, she's only in it a couple times and does wonders to help with Harry's annoying glasses.**

Chapter 5 Madam Deirdre

Meanwhile, the night was dark and cold in the forest. The trees were covered in icy snow, and the ground was frozen. Clouds drifted away in the sky, and the moonlight caught the face of Harry Potter lying in the snow. He squinted from the rush of pain his body received and moaned. Where was he? Harry opened his eyes and blinked. The forest. Scenes from the past flashed in his mind like a film. The Death Eaters were gaining on him, draining his energy and will to live. After collapsing they tortured him with their wands and laughed maniacally. What had he done to stop it? He knew he did something.

At once, Harry gasped and forced himself to sit up. True to his memory, four cloaked bodies surrounded him, dead and unmoving. Blood tainted the white pearls on the ground, and Harry saw the red come from under him. Reaching his hand behind him, he felt the wound on his back, frozen still of bleeding. He collapsed again, staring at the moon overhead. Lupin ought to be back to normal now. It had been a week, hadn't it? Only a week? Harry uttered a brief scream as he attempted to move his legs and stopped his movement. How could he get back if he couldn't even stand up? He coughed weakly and gasped in pain as his lungs seared. A strange taste came from his throat. He coughed again and panicked as a warm liquid oozed down his face: blood. He thought back on what he told Ginny that one day. How he told her his fear of dying in the cold alone…and here he was.

For once in a long while, tears streamed down his face as he gazed at the orb in the sky. The stars never seemed so beautiful like that night, and the night so peaceful. Was this how peace felt? Harry grew more distressed because he felt depressed and happy all at once. Was this night going to be his last? Was he going to die alone in the freezing, tranquil forest? If that was his fate, he liked it better than suffering under Voldemort.

"Harry Potter," a deep voice bellowed from behind him.

Harry was alarmed. He tried to get up and turn to see who the familiar voice belonged to, but he simple fell to the ground in exhaustion. The face came closer.

"Harry Potter, you are not safe here. You are needed back in health."

"Firenze!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Your friends are mourning your disappearance, the stars have said so. I must return you to them to replace your health."

Harry sighed. "Then you have to hurry. I don't think I can last much longer."

The centaur nodded and carefully lifted him from the snow and placed him on his back. "Can you hang on to my body, Harry Potter?"

"I think so," he replied with clenched teeth. "I'm ready."

With a stamp of his hoof, Firenze took off in a gallop and headed in the direction of help with the savior of the Wizarding World on his back.

It was daylight when Firenze woke Harry from his sleep. They were still in the forest, and in front of them was an old hut with smoke drifting out of the crumbling chimney. It was an odd place he had never seen before.

"Where are we?"

"At Madam Deirdre's residence. She will care for your injuries."

Harry was startled to lay eyes on someone he had not seen before. She was incredibly short with frizzy white hair and blue, tattered robes. All of her teeth were missing, and a peculiar smell came from her hut. Harry was uncertain about complying.

"Come, young one, you need my assistance in these dark times. Thank you, Firenze, I will care for him." Her voice was even stranger. She was an old woman, but it seemed as if she was only in her thirties, and she had an Irish lilt.

The Centaur gently dropped Harry unsteadily to the ground, and the old woman gripped his arm with a fierce squeeze. His worry grew stronger.

"I leave you in good hands, Mr. Potter," Firenze said. " I must now leave you."

"Tell them I'm safe." He replied.

The centaur nodded and disappeared in a quick trot across the snowdrifts, leaving Harry to the woman.

"Come inside. I'll patch you up in a heartbeat."

The odoriferous scent was from the potion Madam Deirdre had made before he came. It bubbled a black substance that overfilled the pot and dropped ooze on the wooden floor. From the window, a white cat meowed. Harry sat tentatively on a wooden bench near the fire as the woman bustled around her hut.

"Dark times it is, young man. Brave of you to challenge it. Of course you have no choice in the matter. Is mór an trua é –it's a great pity. I offer you my compassion in your journey to defeat the Dark Lord. Such power that wizard possesses does not bear good fruit."

"Thank you for doing this." Harry offered to say. He didn't know what else to tell her.

"Firenze is a good friend of mine. Always sends me wounded creatures to replenish. You are the first human he dared to bring me. No matter, I can heal anything."

She came from a creaky closet and pulled out vials of potions, then poured water out of a gourd into a clay basin. "You must swallow these and I will wash the blood off of you. Next I shall then take care of the wounds on the outside."

Harry was uncertain about the potions, but he trusted Firenze, so he would put his trust into this odd woman as well. After swallowing them, he was ordered to remove his robes.

"Pretty smashed up you are, Mr. Potter," she muttered as she scrubbed his back. "A nasty abrasion you have here. No matter." Madam Deirdre tapped her wand on the wound, and it was instantly healed. She continued doing this until every cut was gone, and every trace of blood vanished. Harry felt himself grow tired again when it was finished.

"When you have eaten you may rest. I have some rabbit stew over the fire now."

Harry nodded as a reply. He felt fine now, but a weight of mixed emotions dragged him down as he sat watching her busily prepare the meal. He was relieved, that was one important thing. He was still alive to see Ginny and the others, but he was also defeated, it seemed. How much more of this could he handle? How much longer would he have to run and hide and fight? He wondered if Lupin was all right. The thought of him made his stomach contract in fear. The shield had been destroyed. That was why the attack on Leeds had started. According to Hermione, it had to be destroyed by intense fire. So they got the power over another dragon, and it was gone. By now, Voldemort could feel what was happening to him. Harry felt his anger in his scar that day. Even still it would burn every now and then to remind him of how upset Voldemort had become. Now, only two more existed. Nagini, possibly, and then Voldemort himself. It was that disfigured creature Wormtail had tossed into the cauldron the night he returned. But how was he to destroy it?

"You ponder on you uncertainties a lot, do you not, young man?" Madam Deirdre said softly from afar. Harry was alarmed to find her sitting beside him.

"Yes, I do. I have no choice. I always wonder if what I am doing is right, or what the consequences would be either way."

"The thing to do is not to worry at all. The right choice is always made by following your heart, not your desires."

Harry looked at her. "How am I going to keep going if I don't know what to do?"

She smiled a toothless grin. "A wise man once told me that even in the darkest of times, happiness could be found. If one only knows how to turn on the light…"

Harry stared in surprise. "You knew Dumbledore?"

"Yes, indeed I did. Protected me here in the forest from the Ministry's nosiness. They thought I was a dark witch, and he knew better. I sensed your fear as well when you entered. I can understand."

"And the thing on happiness?"

The woman nodded sadly. "I learned of your last troubles with Dementors. Couldn't think of anything at all for a Patronus?"

Harry felt guilt override him in shame. "No. I don't understand why. I was always able to, in most cases. I just couldn't think of anything at all."

Madam Deirdre rose to her feet and poured the stew into a bowl. She took time to answer him. "Nothing to be happy about, dear? That is how your life seems to be now, I see. I can tell you, Mr. Potter, that even as I live here alone and unloved by the community, I find joy in everything." She handed him the bowl. "You must learn how to love the simplest things, and remember the good times you had in your life. There is always something good, whether you think so or not. Tá go leor ama againn—we have plenty of time."

"I understand."

"Good man. Now, eat and rest your head. Tomorrow is a new day."

The fireplace at headquarters erupted in bright green flames, and the figure of McGonagall burst through into the kitchen. Ron, Hermione and Ginny jumped in alarm as Mrs. Weasley scrambled toward her.

"Molly! Molly, Harry has been found!"

The woman gasped, but the children gave outbursts of questions. "Where is he?"

"Is he all right?"

"Who found him?"

"Please!" Mrs. Weasley shouted in excitement. "Minerva, is he fairing well?"

"I believe so. He is not in my possession. Firenze found him in the forest late last night, wounded badly. He had taken him to a hermit woman because he feared Potter would not survive if he tried to take him to Hogwarts."

"Where is she?" Ron asked. "We can search for him."

Molly rounded on him. "You are not leaving this house! None of you are. When Remus is well again he will retrieve him."

Minerva asked, "How is he?"

"Madam Pomfrey took care of him well. He is resting now."

"Wonderful news. Well, I must be off. I expect an answer to Potter's health when he is returned."

Molly nodded quickly. "Yes, of course. We will tell you immediately."

When the Headmistress left, Ron leapt into the air and whooped. "Harry's all right!"

Hermione giggled and grabbed Ginny into a hug, twirling her in the air. "I told you he would be fine!"

Still in shock, Ginny laughed weakly. He was safe. Safe!

"Oh, I must tell Remus!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed. "He will be so relieved!"

The morning sun peered through the shabby curtains of the hut and woke Harry from his sleep. He reached for his glasses and put them on, now seeing Madam Deirdre tending to her plants near the open door.

"Awake are you?" she said with a smile. "Stiff at all? Everything in working order?"

"I think so. I feel just fine."

"Good, good. I need just a moment before I'll get your morning meal ready."

Harry stood up and tried to flatten his hair. "It's all right. I can wait."

The woman stared at him for a moment before replying, "I have to ask, do your eyeglasses ever become a problem in your efforts? They seem to have potential to prove a nuisance."

"Yes, they do, actually." Harry wondered where she was getting at.

She nodded. "Well, with your permission, of course, I can give you a remedy for your sight. I must warn you that it will be painful, but it is worth it. They will not be a bother any longer."

"I've never heard of anything that did that."

"It's my own creation. It works because I had performed it on myself. It wasn't my cup of tea, but I can see perfectly now."

He didn't see how it could hurt to try it. "I'll do it."

"NO, I DON'T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE!" Harry screamed after the first drop had landed in his eyes. The pain felt as if acid was eating away his eye.

Madam Deirdre struggled to keep him still. "You must, Mr. Potter. You cannot go around with one eye with sight and the other not!"

"I THINK I CAN MAKE MYSELF!"

His left eye was forced open and a bead of the potion hit it. "STOP!"

"Really, now, you mustn't make such a fuss. In a moment I'll use water to flush it out."

Harry's face was now wet with tears. When five minutes had passed, she forced his eyes open and washed away the burning sensation. With a wave of her wand, Harry blinked and looked above him.

"Well? What say you, dear?"

He didn't know what to say. He could see! Without glasses he could see everything!

"I take your silence for a compliment. Thank you. Now if you don't mind, I need to do chores. My cow won't milk itself."

Harry watched her walk away and rubbed his eyes. Nope, he could still see. "Let me help you. I have to repay you in some way."

"If you must."

From the sun, Harry could tell that it was about ten in the morning as he started the last of the chores he was given. Madam Deirdre was across the yard throwing corn to the chickens, talking to them as if they were her disobedient children. Harry, meanwhile, was chopping wood for the fire needed to cook the midday meal. He had a small pile already cut, but he needed a tall wall of wood before he would be finished. Sighing, he got to work again.

It was perhaps twenty minutes later when Harry heard something that sounded both familiar and uplifting. It was a shriek, but an excited outburst.

"HARRY! HARRY, YOU'RE OKAY!"

"Ginny—" WHAM! Her body crashed into his, and the two of them collapsed onto the wood chips.

"Oh, Harry, you're alive! We thought you were dead!"

He smiled. "I told you that I can't die, didn't I?"

She grinned and laughed happily. From behind her, Hermione and Ron cluttered around him. He sat up and Hermione embraced him tightly.

"Don't ever do that again! We were all worried sick!" She had tears pouring down her face and laughed at the same time.

Ron, in his joy, gripped him into a fierce embrace and shook his shoulders roughly saying, "You said you would be with us for Christmas!"

Harry grinned. "But, Ron, it's only the day after Christmas!"

The three of them laughed and hugged each other once more.

"But, Harry, where are your glasses?" Ginny asked as he stood up.

"Madam Deirdre fixed my eyesight. I can see now!"

Ron was awed. "Wicked! So she was the one who patched you up, mate?"

Harry glanced over at the old woman talking with Remus Lupin, who flashed a relieved smile in his direction, "Yeah, she is. I owe her everything."

Hermione folded her arms crossly. "You're fortunate that Firenze happened to be there last night. Who knows what could have happened to you."

He snorted. "I'd probably be dead. Of course, now I have to dust myself off and try this thing again. I just want it all to be over, you know?"

The three of them were silent for a moment before Ron hesitantly spoke up, "Yeah, about that, Harry. Well, considering everything, and how close you are to the end, Lupin agreed that we can join the two of you."

Harry's eyes hardened abruptly. "He said what?"

Hermione lowered her head nervously. "Please, Harry, you have to let us go. We're not going to lose you again."

"This isn't about me!" he snapped. "This is something between Lupin, Voldemort and myself!" He shoved her out of the way and made a beeline to the two adults having a pleasant discourse.

"Remus!" he yelled in rage. "You told them they could come with us? How did you get Mrs. Weasley to agree with that? You know what this means to me."

He sighed in weariness. "Harry, I know. We cannot do this alone any longer. You know how difficult it has been. Molly agreed because it would help you, but that is the only reason. She now has them to worry about."

"Exactly, and so do I! I'm not doing this!"

Madam Deirdre stared heavily into his eyes, and he felt something strange. What was she doing? She opened her mouth. "Leon ort, leanbh. Ná téigh ar ais. Imigh agus téigh anonn chuig d'cairde!" _Keep going, child. Don't go back. Go away and go over to your friends!_

Harry couldn't comprehend how he understood her strange language. He suspected that she had used magic with him. He nodded.

"Thank you for everything. Goodbye."

"Slán, and I hope to see you another time. In one piece, please."

Remus eyed him curiously. He called over to the others. "Let's head out. We need to leave before noon."

As Harry walked away with his friends, together at last, he waved to the old woman who saved his life, wishing her good blessings, and headed bravely to the troubles ahead.


	6. The Next Horcrux

**Okay, I'm going to be grounded soon so I'm skipping ahead, and I need to publish this now…it's irritating me. This is where it gets cool. And a little twisted.**

**This is the speculation that is circulating the rumor circle. I didn't believe it at first, but as I thought on it again and again I realized that it had potential.**

Chapter 6 The Next Horcrux

Harry gave a sigh of exhaustion when he opened the book Hermione had set on the table. In Sirius's empty bedroom. Ron was looking bored on the sofa while Ginny's face was buried in an enormous book.

"We're not going to find it in there," he said irritably. "We checked the content page already."

"It won't hurt you to do it twice."

"I have an idea," Grunted Ron. "Let's stop and do something worth our time. I want the last three hours of my life back."

Ginny glared over the pages. "You're supposed to be helping Harry. How is that not worth your time?"

"Look, all I'm trying to say is that we are searching in the wrong places. Obviously You-Know-Who wouldn't put a Horcrux in something we can find in a book."

"Ron, you are such a killjoy!" Hermione hissed.

Harry came to his defense. "No, he's got a point. This is something we have to piece together. But the problem is, what else is Voldemort tied to? What else would he have put himself in?"

"Something valuable, we know that," Ginny said tiredly. "What else did Dumbledore tell you, Harry?"

"We have already done it all. Now I'm at a complete standstill."

There was a pressured silence that proceeded. Harry paced the floor and tapped the book lightly with his fingers in thought. "Each Horcrux has something to do with his life. Each was valuable and important."

Hermione added, "And according to Dumbledore, Voldemort could still use them and give them power."

Harry sucked in his breath and finished his pacing abruptly. He couldn't feel his body, only the loud thumping of his heart. He knew it...it made sense of everything.

"Harry what's wrong?" asked Ginny with concern in her tone. He almost didn't hear her. As Harry pondered for another moment, a sudden feeling of peace warmed his soul. He knew what he had to do.

"I think I figured it out," he managed to say in a dead whisper. He could see Ron rub his hands nervously. "What do you mean?" he said.

Harry couldn't bear to look them in the eye. "Voldemort puts his souls into useful objects, right? Well, what other object besides the other Horcruxes have proved useful to him? What does he share power with and have a connection to?"

Ron shrugged. "Why, are we supposed to know? It's been three hours, you know?"

"Think about it, Ron. It's obvious-,"

"Shut up, Harry! Just be quiet!"

There was a stunned silence after Ginny's hard comment, and Harry felt his heart shrivel up at the sight of her tears. "There's no other explanation."

"I don't care, you're wrong!"

Ron was befuddled. "What are you two talking about?"

"He's a Horcrux," Hermione's weak voice muttered. Harry made a side glance at her, but she turned away,

"No, he's not!"

"Gin-,"

"Harry, I don't want to hear it! Don't you know what it would mean? Don't you know that if it really is you, what must be done in order to defeat Voldemort? Huh?"

"Why would you be one?" It was Ron who spoke, and Harry could see that he was trying very poorly to settle his emotions down. "Why would You-Know-Who put his soul into you?"

"I don't know, Ron, okay? But it fits. I can speak to snakes, feel his emotions, see into his mind. Remember what happened in our fifth year? Maybe he did it accidentally the night he killed my parents, or on purpose to use me later. He used my blood to be reborn, but I have no idea if he planned it all. I just don't know!"

Hermione stood up suddenly and walked to the door. "I don't want to talk about this. Let's go down for lunch. Mrs. Weasley will have it ready by now."

Harry felt saddened because he had never seen his friend in front of him flee from a challenge. He had never witnessed her as stressful as she appeared now.

"I'll discuss it with Lupin. Together we will sort it all out."

"But, Harry," Ginny continued to protest. "It's wrong! Don't go to him."

Harry felt the anger rise up in his chest uncontrollable as he snapped, "Do you want to figure this out or not? I don't like thinking about it either, you know that? I don't like thinking that I might have to sacrifice myself when I want to live and see Voldemort die. I want to live like everyone else, but until it is decided, I have no alternative to think of right now."

Hermione covered her mouth to hold back a sob and shook her head. "No!" Without another word she fled the room and down the stairs.

The confrontation with Lupin held out in Harry's favor.

"I believe that it is my purpose that the prophecy was talking about."

"The prophecy said you were the only one that could kill him. Not having you die and then someone else doing the job."

Harry shook his head. "Dumbledore told me that it only meant that I know that I HAVE to have some part in his destruction. It said I only had the power to, but it explained nothing about-,"

"I don't care, Harry!" shouted Remus, and Harry grew alarmed. "Do you think I want to deal with another death? You don't even know if this is the true-," he faltered his voice and rubbed his face. "Never mind."

"Dumbledore," Harry said. "Ask him."

……………………………………………………………………………………….

"Albus, do not tell me that you knew from the start this was true! To keep this silent!"

The deceased headmaster frowned dramatically in his portrait and slowly nodded. Harry closed his eyes and rested his back against the desk. This was it.

"It saddens me to admit it, Remus, but Harry had to manage destroying the rest before it was time for this."

"Sir," Harry muttered weakly. "If that be the case, why were you so preoccupied on keeping me alive? Wouldn't that have been an east shot? I mean, look at all the chances you had."

A feeble smile came across the man's face. "Harry, my boy, I can tell you that the reason is benign, certainly. To rid yourself of a Horcrux, YOU DO NOT NEED TO PERISH."

Harry took in none of this. "I don't understand."

"You are human, Harry. You were born with one soul nestled inside of you that allows you to love. Voldemort has his spread out everywhere and cannot understand this love, which is why your power is love, and this Horcrux. Voldemort only put a part of him in you a year after you were born, just part. This explains everything, those urges to hurt me after Mr. Weasley's brush with death and your visions and sensing his emotions."

"Wait, wait," Remus muttered softly. "So, are you saying that Harry has two souls? All he has to do is get Voldemort….out?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Indeed!"

"DEMENTOR!" Harry exclaimed at once. It was so obvious. "That's the only way."

"Unfortunately, it is. Of course, now you may wonder how to get him out, exactly."

"Well, yeah."

"The only advice I can give you, Harry, is to push and concentrate on shifting the evil out into the path of the Kiss."

"And if he cannot do it?" Remus asked hesitantly.

The twinkle left Dumbledore's eyes. "Kill what is left behind."

Harry felt his throat tighten. Kill? Kill him?

"Is that really necessary, Albus?"

"Of course. Harry's body will be inhabited by Voldemort, not who you see before you. This is important on why this will not fail. It MUST NOT FAIL!"

Harry glanced up slowly. "Sir, are you saying that if I succeed I will lose any power granted to me by him? Everything?"

The man stared curiously. "Are you saying that you have enjoyed these powers, Harry?"

"Well, somewhat," he replied honestly. "Parseltongue helped me save Ginny, and I saw the snake in the vision attack Mr. Weasley." At once when he said this, Harry thought of Sirius. It had also gotten him killed. He went on steadily, "You know I will be weaker. I will not be able to finish him off."

"You fail to realize, Harry, that once you serve this purpose you have done your part."

Harry folded his arms angrily. "No. I am not going to sit and pretend everything will be fine. I am in the Order and I am not stopping this fight. It has gotten too personal."

"Harry, please!" Remus whispered.

"Listen," Dumbledore said softly. "When I greeted you before revealing the prophecy you told me something very stirring. Do you remember?"

"No."

" 'I don't want to be human.' That is what you said after Sirius disappeared behind the veil. Emotions are strong, and sometimes we fear what we feel because we have to endure it. No one else will relate exactly to us, and we fear that the reality of being alone."

"What has that got to do with anything?"

Dumbledore seemed determined. "Everything! Giving up what has made you fear being human will vanish. You can live like everyone else. You still have the memories, but not the feeling of being alone and troubled with something only you have to deal with. His soul must be relinquished, Harry."

"I DON'T WANT TO BE WEAK!" Harry shouted. "Without Voldemort I am nothing at all, and if giving that up is all I have to do, I would rather die with him along with me."

Remus twitched, but his focus was on Dumbledore, who appeared mildly stricken. "You have enjoyed his power. Do you want all that dark magic lingering inside of you? You want it dwelling in you as it had in Tom Riddle?"

There was a short pause. "I am." And before they could protest, he went on, "I didn't go through battles, death, and pain just for it all to end here."

"I understand that, Harry."

"But," he added quietly. "I will get him out of me if that is what needs to be done. I'm going to keep fighting. I will not stop. Say that I can and I will do it."

Dumbledore nodded in approval. "So be it, Harry."

A smack burned Harry's cheek as opened to door to Sirius's study. Alarmed at this reaction, he braced himself for what would come next.

"You're so stupid! How could you have done that?" It was Ginny again, and apparently they were told about everything.

"Gin, calm down," Ron tried to say calmly.

"No! Here was your chance, Harry, to escape everything and you threw it away! Why do it when it can all be over!"

"It won't be over until I'm satisfied that Voldemort is dead. Letting others fight for me is not something I want."

"Why is it just _your_ fight?" Ron grunted. "This is ours too, in case you haven't figured that out. Stop being so personal about it!"

"I never said that this had to be yours. All of you weren't orphaned. You didn't cause the deaths of other people when they crossed the path of Voldemort. You never fought him and he doesn't have your blood in him!"

"But aren't you tired, Harry?" Hermione cried. "Don't you want it to end and finally live? Why fight again?"

"I'll live when he is dead and I'm the one who did it."

Ginny murmured from the door, "You didn't answer her."

His anger flared again. "Of course I'm tired! Of course there were days when I thought I was going to die or see others get killed. I even thought of ending everything, including my life altogether, but I couldn't do that. Doing that would be worse than sitting while others did the job."

Ginny turned her head away and Harry couldn't help but feel guilty. He felt so selfish. "You could die and leave us without you. Why do we always have to be second and everything else first?"

"You aren't,"

"Don't lie," Ron growled as he crossed to Hermione weeping on the bed. " You don't care how we feel as long as you get what you want."

Harry scowled in return. "Don't be an idiot. I only wanted all of you safe."

"So why can't we wish for you to be safe?"

"Look at me!" Harry shouted. "I'm the so-called Chosen One. I'm the Boy-Who-Lived, the Death Eater magnet, whatever you want to call me. I can't go fight without having the premonition that I might die. It is something that I can't give myself, the safety that you three can have. And I want you to have it."

Ginny whispered softly, "I just want us to be together, Harry. I want you safe and happy. Don't you realize how much you have changed? From that innocent, kind boy years ago? I just need you to be here for us, and always be here. Why is that so hard to ask for? Just to be here."

Harry squeezed his face in emotional pain and turned away. "I have nothing else to say. The subject has been dropped, all right? I'm going to fight, and don't make me change my mind."

The next morning Harry sat with Remus at the table, and spoke quietly so the others eating wouldn't hear. "You know what to do if I can't put Voldemort's soul into the Dementor, don't you?"

Remus nodded. "But Harry, you know I will not be able to conjure a proper Killing Curse. I won't have the will."

"You will when Voldemort is trying to kill you in my body. Besides, there is always plan B." he took out of his cloak a knife that he had found upstairs, and forced it into Remus's hand. "All right?"

Lupin looked away quickly and stuffed the weapon in his pocket. "Right then. Just concentrate, Harry. I don't want to have to use either."

He embraced him and held him close. The fear was gaining momentum, and now there was no turning back.

The clearing in the woods was still caked in snow for February, and that same morning, Harry stood in front of Remus kneeled by a chest with a boggart inside. He was embattled with the realization that something could go terribly wrong.

"Ready? Can you feel him now?

"A little." He hoped a little was enough.

"Love you, Harry!" Ginny yelled , tightening her grip on her wand. Harry wanted to tell her the same, but all he could manage was a small smile.

"I'm going to open it now."

He nodded. He was going to do this. The thought of Voldemort becoming closer to death was exhilarating. With a click the chest opened, and at once a black, towering Dementer rose above him, and Harry could feel his body turn cold. For a moment he had forgotten what he was supposed to be doing, but he heard his friends shouting to him, egging him on to keep going.

Harry heard his parents screaming again, and suddenly, he felt the evil surface from behind. It rose quickly, and the Dementer had lowered its hood revealing its hideous face. Harry struggled to push it forward, but he felt himself in the way. The voices grew louder and he had no idea whose they belonged to. Panic ceased him. Deep inside Harry wanted to live. He wanted to see the day that Voldemort died in agony. The soul rejected this, and a flare of hate consumed his mind. Death….all he wanted was the death of everything.

Blackness. Complete emptiness. Something tickled in the back of his mind, and he heard voices above him speaking.

"Point your wands!"

Harry saw his friends and Remus stand around his body on the ground with fear. Their wands were threateningly close to his face.

"Who are you?"

Harry ignored him and sat up, trying to understand what had just happened.

"Don't move!"

He glanced up and smiled sarcastically, "Relax, Remus, it's only me."

Their eyes grew wide and grins flashed on their faces.

"HARRY!" Ginny screamed as she leaped onto him. They crashed to the ground and the others laughed.

"So, how do you feel?" Remus asked anxiously.

Harry relaxed in Ginny's arms and made an introspection of himself. "I feel…lighter, I guess. Like a weight has been lifted off my chest."

"Good. Now that this is done, we can go straight to Voldemort. The end is coming closer."

Harry smiled. "Good riddance!"


	7. Separation

**Thanks for staying with me this whole time…we have a little ways to go…well, more than a ways. I think I'll write only two more chapters and I end up with six. Hehehe.**

Chapter 7 Separation

The night was colder than most and Harry knew almost immediately that something was amiss. Lupin saw it too. The forest was far too quiet than it usually was, and the hairs on the back of Harry's neck stood on end. The wind had picked up dramatically and the snow came down in the start of a blizzard.

"Dementors. It has to be." He said to the three of them. "Don't you feel it?"

Lupin paced the snow nervously. "This is not good. If they are here they are not followers of the Ministry any longer. We must move quickly!"

"Sir, we need to Disappearate!" Hermione hollered as he ran ahead.

"It's too dangerous if the Death Eaters are near!"

Ginny didn't understand. All she knew that as they ran, it got colder and colder. Harry in front of her began slowing down, and she suddenly figured out why.

"Ahh!" Harry collapsed on the snow and held his head in his hands, tormented with pain.

Lupin halted. "Harry, what is it! Is it him? Did it not work?"

Hermione held Ginny back and Ron pulled Harry up to a sitting position. Harry couldn't find the words to tell them while his mind was clouded in panic and agony. The Dementors were forcing him to hear his parent's voices screaming, and nothing could stop it.

"Run!" he managed to shout. "Leave me and run!"

"What? Harry-"

"RUN!"

They heard a commotion far east and stood petrified. Giants came barreling down the mountain slopes and Dementors floated in front. Explosions of trees and hollers echoed the forest with the voices of Death Eaters heckling.

"Oh, no!" Hermione gasped.

Lupin wasted no time. In one violent sweep he tore Harry from the ground and bolted north, screaming for the others to follow. He knew where he was going. Far ahead he saw an escape route chugging around the mountain covered in snow. A train.

"Don't tell me we're going on that!" Ron gasped from behind.

"Hurry up!"

Harry now regained his footing and had gotten the same idea as Lupin. The train was liberation for them now. Their lives relied on a Muggle train bound for nowhere but freedom. The giants were slow in the forest due to their size. It took longer for the large trees to be demolished aside, but the Dementors simply glided over the foliage. Fortunately, the heavy winds and falling snow delayed them. It was getting colder by the minute.

The train was moving quickly as the four of them ran along side of it, panting painfully. Lupin pulled Ginny toward him and shouted over the noise, "Get up on the platform and pull yourself onto the roof!"

Harry watched as she obeyed and hoped she would make it. She did, and he breathed again. Lupin did the same for Ron and Hermione, and then dragged Harry in front of him. "You know what to do!"

Harry nodded and lunged toward the locomotive. Hands above him reached out to bring him up, and he held out his arm. Lupin followed up with ease, and the four of them sat huddled freezing on the top of the train. Harry was wet and cold, and he couldn't feel his fingers. The others didn't look well at all either. The important thing, he knew, was that they were safe now. That's all that mattered.

Ginny glanced into his eyes for a fleeting moment, and Harry knew something was wrong. The train turned a corner alarmingly fast, and the car jarred violently. At once Harry felt his hold slip and he found himself sliding off the side and into open air. He heard screaming above him as Ginny's hands reached to grab his.

"Pull me up!" he screamed. "Hurry!"

Hermione balanced herself next to Ginny and took hold of his free hand and together they pulled, but Harry noticed that they too were sliding. Lupin and Ron were trying to yank them backward. If he didn't do something the girls would fall like him.

"I can't hold on!" Hermione screamed as the tears froze on her face, which Harry could barely see through the blowing snow. "I can't feel my hands!"

"Yes we can!" Ginny rebuked. "Try and pull yourself up!"

But he couldn't, he already tried and it dragged them down. Harry's mind reeled in panic. The wind howled in his ears and the chugging of the train drowned his thoughts. What was he going to do? He opened his eyes again and saw a familiar object-a mountain that seemed so familiar. Wait…Harry gasped. He knew where he was!

Harry glanced up at the girls and squeezed their hands. "Let me go!"

"What!" They exclaimed in unison.

"Trust me, let me drop. Let go!"

Ginny clenched tighter in fear. "Harry, no! We can do it!"

"You'll slide off! Just let go, Gin. I need you to let go. Trust me!"

Harry felt Hermione loosen her grip and finally release him. He couldn't see the expression on her face as he dangled more dangerously off the edge.

"Hermione, what are you doing!" Ginny exclaimed. "Grab him! Don't let him die!"

"I won't, Gin!" He hollered. A pain began to numb his arm. "Ginny, look at me, I'll be fine, just let go! Let go!"

"No!"

"Do it now! NOW!"

Ginny clenched her eyes shut and gave a shriek of agony before making her decision. With pain in her heart, she released Harry to the wind and watched as his body fell and disappeared into the blowing snow.

Harry felt as if he were flying blindly as the fell, kicking off the train to make sure he wouldn't collide into it. He didn't know where he would land, and from the feel of it, the locomotive had been over a bridge. Harry made contact with the ground alarmingly hard, and force of it knocked him out for a short while. He awoke minutes later groggy and frozen. It took him a matter of time to realize that he had landed on the shore of a large creek, and his chest had broken through the ice into the water. Harry unstuck his hair from the ice and fell onto the snowy ground, unable to comprehend both his luck and his misfortune. He had saved them and managed to not land in the middle of the creek where he most likely would have drowned, but he had also lost them. He was alone again.

Ginny had stared at the place where Harry had been moments before and couldn't believe what she had done. Now because of her he could have died. He could be dead now or hunted by the Death Eaters, only because she had let him go.

Hermione pulled her backward and forced her into an embrace, but she tore away from her.

"You let him go first! You didn't object to him, you just let go!"

Hermione covered her face in shame and wept in her cloak. "I trusted him!"

Ron gathered her into his arms and comforted her, and Ginny felt betrayed. He was comforting the person who let Harry go without hesitation. She felt nothing now but alienation and grief. Looking at the defeated faces of Ron and Lupin, she knew she wasn't alone.

Harry stumbled through the snow and forest with anticipation. She had to be there now. She could help him get back and meet up with Lupin and the rest in no time. He came upon the clearing in the woods as the blizzard began to subside and felt his heart turn to stone in a matter of seconds. The moon showed the old hut in ruins, burnt down and decayed. The animals were frozen and rotted, strewn about the yard. Harry couldn't fathom it.

"Madam Deirdre!" he screamed. "Are you there? Are you there? It's Harry!"

He shoved aside logs and burnt wood, scavenging for any signs of life. Any at all. He found her cauldron under the bricks of the chimney, her herbs under the curtains, her body slumped under the broken table. Harry stared at her white frizzy hair blow faintly in the wind, and did nothing. He himself felt dramatically dead and all he wanted to do now was to sleep and sleep, and never wake again.

The morning sun gleamed down at Harry as he fitfully awoke. He heard nothing but snow falling from trees. Unwillingly he sat up and stared around the ruins, not thinking about anything in particular. All he knew was that he was cold and grieved. Harry couldn't think of anything else to do but to keep going. As much as he wanted to cry and flee from everything, he had to move on. He had to. As if he had seen nothing, Harry rose to his feet and stepped out of the ruins, not even looking back to see if it had only been a dream.

Lupin had forced the three of them off the train when the first light hit. They leapt into snowdrifts and laid low for the remaining day, keeping a keen eye out for danger. Ginny didn't care if a Death Eater was right behind them, all she was scouting for was Harry. Where had he gone? It seemed as if he knew what to do, and she hoped he did, because she had no idea at all. Hermione had avoided her the entire morning and stayed in front with Lupin. Ron, on the other hand, kept glancing back at his sister from time to time to make himself certain that she had not gone missing.

"What did he tell you, Ginny? When it happened."

"He just said that I had to trust him and let him go. He didn't say anything else, but that he didn't want us to be pulled off with him."

"He'll be fine. He's Harry." Ron gave her a comforting hug and pushed her at a faster pace. They had miles to go.

Harry tried hard to find their tracks. They had all developed secret symbols for themselves if they had gone astray. Every fifty trees Harry made an abstract sketch of a stag and looked for the insignia of the group. He never saw any that day. With his stomach rumbling for food he could only give it meager meals of vegetation that had poked itself out of the ground, ready for late spring. Harry was cold, hungry and delirious. Twice he had collapsed and thought he heard the voices of his friends talking to him about Quidditch and school exams—nothing of what he thought was important at the moment. He felt like something else was taking charge of his body and was doing all the walking for him. He spent the night sleeping under a makeshift hut and curled into himself waiting miserably for dawn to come again.

It wasn't until nearly noon the next day that he found the circle carved in the tree. It was the thirty-second from his fifty, and Harry's mind suddenly awoke. He followed the patterns to the north and felt like skipping. Finally they would meet! For the next hour he scrambled over logs and roots of trees to reach them. It had to be only another ten minute walk….five minutes…twenty seconds. Harry's body couldn't handle it any longer, and he saw the world get dark before crumbling in his place.

Hermione hunted the forest for vegetation and food that could be found. Their supplies were running low, and all she could think about was how Harry was surviving. Was he dying of hunger or feasting on food? Lupin ordered her to travel south so that she wouldn't get lost. The circle was carved in the path they made before. Hermione hoped that Ginny wouldn't be angry at her for much longer since now she was tired of it. Harry had insisted that they let go, so she did. Didn't Ginny realize that all of them would have suffered the same fate if Harry had not sacrificed himself. She managed to find little food at all besides half-frozen fruit and roots. The winter was the worst time to fight the Death Eaters. Hermione stumbled down a small incline to gather what she thought was a dead animal. It was black and the bushes blocked her view. When she came closer, her heart stopped cold in shock. It wasn't an animal. It was a person! Cautiously, she reached down to turn him over to see his face, and when she did, a scream escaped from her mouth before she could stop it.

Ron and Lupin froze at what they were doing and paused to listen. They had heard her.

"Let's go, she might be in trouble," said Lupin to Ginny and Ron, grabbing their supplies and making a beeline to the source of the noise. Ron ran faster than the two of them and caught sight of Hermione scrambling toward him with tears running down her face.

"It's him! It's him, hurry!"

Ron gripped her arms and shook her roughly. "Who are you talking about?"

Lupin and Ginny came up from behind, and Hermione gasped for breath. "Him…Harry! It's Harry!"

Lupin's eyes rounded in fear and he took hold of her arm. "Where?"

Hermione pointed and the three ran in the direction she had indicted. Ginny was the first to reach it, and when she saw him lying on his back, pale as death, she panicked.

"Harry, Harry wake up!" she held his head and shook him gently. Her voice wavered threateningly as she urged him more. "Wake up."

Lupin gently shoved her aside and felt for a pulse at his neck. "He's alive, just weak. Get him some food from our supplies, Hermione. Something soft."

She fumbled for the sack and took out a banana and crackers while Ron got the water ready.

"Wait," Lupin said softly. "I can't wake him now. Not with our enemies so close, they will detect us."

"Sir, we don't have time!" Ron interjected. "Do it now and then we'll head in another direction."

Lupin thought for another minute or so before coming to a decision. "Enervate!" At once Harry stirred and moaned softly. Hermione broke open the banana and tore off a small piece.

"Here, Harry, eat." His senses slowly kicked in as he smelled the food near his mouth. Something spoke, but he didn't care whether or not they were his enemies, or what they had said. All that he knew was that he had food. He ate it gladly but refused to open his eyes.

Lupin left him in the care of Hermione and dug through a separate sack near Ron and managed to find a small draught wrapped in a soft case.

"Hermione, have him drink this. It will give him energy."

Harry felt something wet slide down his throat and felt himself choke, but oddly enough, his body began functioning again. He saw that Hermione was holding him up so he wouldn't smother himself, and the others were standing around him anxiously.

"Finally I found you." He whispered.

"Actually, we found you. You're lucky Hermione saw you when she did, Harry," said Lupin. "I'm sorry, but our rations are low and we have to keep going. Can you handle it?"

"Sure," Harry muttered as he stood shakily on his feet. Hermione gave him the fruit and crackers, and took the water from Ron. "Can't wait."

"Where did you go, Harry?" Ginny asked. "I was afraid you didn't have a plan."

"Madam Deirdre. I was going to her." Harry tried to keep his voice steady while replying, but a tremor of hatred came out. "They killed her and destroyed her home. Nothing is left."

The group was silent for a moment before Lupin cleared his throat. "Come, we have a lot of walking to cover."


	8. Setbacks and Delusions

Chapter 8 Setback and Delusions 

**Okay, I'm taking a leap here, but basically they meet up the bad guys and they have a rumble.**

Hermione gave an outburst of fright covering her mouth to the response of Ginny's piercing shriek. She saw the limp body of the masked Death Eater fall gracelessly over the icy cliff. Harry followed suit, scrambling furiously to catch hold of the rocks. The Death Eater blocking Hermione's path raised his wand quickly.

"Foolish, Potter. It looks as if you fought your last battle. CRUCIO!"

"NO!" Ginny screamed. She couldn't reach him in time. The spell hit, and with an outcry of pain, Harry lost his grip. It was as if she was watching it in slow motion. Hermione saw him disappear over the ledge, and never come back.

"Who wishes to join him?"

Hermione recognized him as Lucius Malfoy, but how had he escaped Azkaban?

Ginny screeched in rage, "MURDERER!"

"No, Gin, stop!" Hermione shouted, but no one had time to move. A bright light suddenly burst from the dense forest and toppled Malfoy on his back. He didn't move again. Two figures came forward and halted before them.

"Ron, Lupin!"

Remus rushed forward with panic etched in every crease of his face. Both girls could discern that both he and Ron were recovering from an attack. Their robes were torn and burned.

"Are you two all right?"

Ron interrupted, "Where did Harry go?"

Ginny wailed loudly and wept, "He was pushed off the cliff!"

The faces of the two men paled extravagantly. Remus wasted no time. "Ron, take Ginny and Appearate to the shore. All of you go."

"What are you going to do?" Ron asked quickly.

"To find Harry. Now go!"

The water appeared calm from below, yet hard clusters of ice still lined the ground. Ginny shivered from the cold and wiped her frozen face. Lupin was still out there…looking for any sign of Harry. They could see him bobbing the surface empty handed. Ron trembled in cold and fear. What was taking so long?

Hermione sat worriedly at the snow and dirt crusted on the ground since her eyes could no longer gaze at anything else.

Suddenly, a frantic shout echoed from the water where Lupin was swimming quickly with a body in his arms. At once, Ron hoisted Harry from the lake and set him down on his back. He coughed up more water and moaned.

"Harry, are you all right? Talk to me now." His voice was calm, and all Ginny wanted to do was yell at him. How could he have so little emotion? How could he be all right?

Harry's eyes tried hard to remain open as he replied in short gasps, "I think so."

"Good. We'll head deeper into the forest until nightfall. We'll camp and move on in the morning, depending on the weather."

Ron said, "We have to move him. He can't walk now. And we have to dry his clothes."

Lupin used his wand and levitated a stretcher in which Harry groggily collapsed into. He raised his wand and wordlessly used a charm to rid his clothes of icy water. In silence, they continued without another word.

It was nearing darkness now and Hermione blindly followed the path of Harry's sleeping form. Ron, like Remus, was tense at every sound, and with wands at hand they led the expedition alert and ready. Harry's complexion failed to differ as the night grew longer. No color illuminated his face, and the blue tinge on his lips remained. Why did it have to still be so cold?

They came to a slow stop where Remus scanned the area quickly. "We stay here tonight. I will leave periodically to check the area. Harry needs to be taken care of."

Hermione brushed past Ron and turned her attention to Ginny, who was dabbing Harry's forehead. "He's not doing well," she whispered. "I think he's ill."

Hermione had noticed. He was suppressing coughs and sweat was glittering on his skin. If she got any closer she could hear his chest rasp.

"Ginny, come with me. We are going to find some herbs to boil for tea. It will help him."

Lupin overheard. "Yes, go but hurry back and don't go far."

Ron watched them go and slowly faced the man poking the fire. "Do you think we will ever manage to destroy You-Know-Who's soul?"

He didn't answer right away, and Ron knew that he was uncertain himself. "If we stop we won't."

It was late in the night and the hours dragged on so sluggishly, and Harry could no longer restrain his coughing fits. As they grew worse everyone's nerves tightened. Hermione forced more tea down his throat and he slept on for awhile. One by one they followed his lead with the sound of the forest drifting them away.

They awoke with rain. Rain when all around them was snow. It was at first a drizzle, but soon turned into a monster above them. Ginny and Hermione scrambled to cover Harry and Ron stood in confusion.

"Where is Lupin?"

"Scouting, remember?" Hermione hollered over the noise. Ron couldn't believe that he left without him. She noticed. "Help us, Ron. We need you here."

Ron turned to look at Harry's pale face under the blankets. How could he explain to them that he was frightened of the future? What would happen? How would Harry escape if Death Eaters attacked them now? He could only hope that if he ignored it, nothing wrong would happen. Since his friend was unable to fight, he would. At least until his health had returned.

The canopy above them shifted the water away, but the incline caused the water to run down until they sat soaking in a pool. Perturbed, the three of them glared at the rain and made sure Harry wasn't drowning again.

"I'm hungry," Ron whined when the rain became weak. "Can we have lunch yet?"

Hermione scoffed, "Excuse me while I make some steak tar tar."

Ginny giggled. She was in a better mood ever since Harry had opened his eyes earlier that morning. He seemed to be getting healthier.

"Geez, I was just saying."

"We don't have anything! Lupin will come back with food. Harry hasn't eaten anything for days and he isn't complaining."

"Now I know how you get when you're hungry."

Fuming, Hermione turned away from him and fed the weak flames.

Late in the afternoon the rain stopped altogether and tensions were rising. Lupin still had not returned.

"I hope he's all right," Ginny sighed heavily. Her stomach was burning with hunger.

Harry groaned softly and rolled the blanket off his face. All three huddled around him anxiously. "You all right, mate?" Ron asked excitedly. "Do you need anything?"

He blinked quickly from the glare of the light and replied faintly, "Well, I'm a little thirsty." Ginny nodded and pulled the canteen out of the bag, handing it to Hermione. "Thanks. That's better."

"Lupin is gone right now, but he'll be back," Ron said quickly. "He will have food."

Harry shrugged. "I'm not too hungry."

"You're not! Let me have your ration then. I'm starved!"

The four of them laughed until Harry broke out into another spasm of coughs, one worse than the next. "I'm all right," he panted. "Just tired again. Wake me when Lupin comes."

"Sure," agreed Ron. "Get some rest, mate."

To pass the time endless games of tic tac toe and hangman were drawn in the muddy dirt. The girls pretended to make cakes out of the mud as if they were young children, and Ron was even tempted to try it. It couldn't be that bad, but Hermione put an end to it. They had tried to forage for food, but Ginny could only find a small patch of frozen, smashed strawberries. Ron brooded for the rest of the day.

At last, a loud pop sounded, and Remus Lupin appeared with two sacks over his shoulders. "Meat and potatoes! Sorry it took so long. I couldn't use much magic."

"FOOD!" bellowed Ron.

Lupin's smile faltered. "And Harry?"

"He woke up awhile ago. He told us to wake him when you returned."

"Wait until we eat then."

And that time came fast. They didn't even wait for the potatoes to be fully cooked. Hermione shook Harry awake and forced him to eat some of the food, but he soon quit.

"I don't want anymore. I don't feel like eating."

Ginny interjected, "Harry, you have to."

"Leave him be," Remus cut in. "He'll when he's ready."

"Can I have his meat?"

Hermione roared in frustration," Ron, you really are senseless!"


	9. Agony and Denial

**This is the upsetting part and I think I did okay according to emotions. Please Review!**

Chapter 9 Agony and Denial

Sleep came easy now that their stomachs were full, and there was nothing but fog that had settled in that morning. A faint blue glow illuminated the forest, and not a sound could be heard.

Suddenly, Ginny bolted up, wide-awake. Her eyes focused around her, but nothing was moving.

"Ginny!" It was Harry.

"What's wrong? Do you need anything?" She hissed in panic as she came to his side, almost stepping on Ron. Lupin was missing again.

"No, I just wanted to be sure of something."

"What do you mean?"

He silenced himself for a moment as a flicker of anxious fear flashed in his weary eyes. "We're not too far from where Voldemort is. I just need to make sure that if I can't destroy the Horcrux in him, you all will. Please tell me you will. It's been bothering me all morning.

Ginny was confused. "That's why we came with you, Harry. You will be able to you know that. You've been determined now for a long time."

Harry seemed agitated. "I know, but if something should happen, you'll all do it, won't you? Won't you?"

His anxiety began to frighten her and she feared that the fever was making him delirious. It had to be the fever. Ginny felt his forehead and he was still burning hot. "Harry, you need to rest."

"Ginny! I mean it! Will all of you keep fighting and never stop? I have to know."

Alarmed, she nodded quickly just to settle him. "Of course, Harry. We already made the promise to stay by you."

He seemed relieved as his body relaxed. "Good. It will be a grand thing to see, Gin. The day that Voldemort dies. Can you see it? I would love to see it. I'd give anything."

Ginny swallowed painfully. "Just sleep. By tomorrow you just might get your chance." Harry grinned weakly at her and took her hand in his. He met her eyes and thought of how beautiful she was, dirt and all. She seemed so frightened, but he felt detached and calm, feeling happy with her fingers smoothing the skin of his hand. He squeezed it gently and obeyed. It felt so peaceful in his warm blankets after she finished speaking. He heard her voice almost singing to him as she caressed his face with her free hand, and it was like riding high out on the morning clouds.

Ron twitched in his sleep. He was playing Quidditch again, Keeper as usual, and was attempting to block the Quaffle at all cost from the old Hufflepuff Beater from the year before. It was coming closer…closer…and just as he was about to catch it…

A scream. A high pitched scream pierced through his dream, bolting him to a sitting position. Where was his wand? Hermione sat frozen beside him, and he looked around to see Ginny in front of them petrified with fear. She covered her mouth as tears gushed out of her eyes.

"What is it?"

She said nothing. Hermione inched toward her, but she simply turned around and laid down like nothing had happened.

Ron bent down near her ear. "What happened. Was it a bad dream?" Her mouth moved, but not a word escaped it. "What?"

Hermione suddenly gripped his arm painfully. "What?" he asked. Ron saw her freeze with terror and watched as she began to tremble.

"Ron…oh, Ron!"

He was frightened now. "Hermione, tell me—"

"HE'S DEAD! OH MY GOD, HE'S DEAD!"

Ron spun his head so fast it cracked. His eyes fell upon Harry, sleeping like always. But something was wrong with him Terribly wrong.

"He...he's sleeping! What are you playing at?"

Hermione curled herself into a ball and whimpered, making Ron panic and grow angrier. "He's sleeping! He was getting better! You saw him yesterday, Hermione. He was getting better."

"Just touch him!" she shouted in agony.

Frightened, but in denial, he agreed. "I will! He's only sleeping!"

He reached out his hand, but just as he felt the sickening cold of his skin, Ginny sat up.

"Harry's dead! He knew he was going to die." She explained what he had said that morning and grew more aggressive. "He knew! He knew and he didn't eve say goodbye! Why did he have to keep fighting? Why?"

Hermione embraced her and made hushing noises to calm her. It wasn't working. Ron could barely understand his sister now through her sobbing. "We could be together now thinking about the future, but he chose this instead! I want to love him again, Mione. He left us and now we have to finish it all. I'm tired of it…I don't want to do it anymore, I don't care what Harry said. I just want him. Why did he always have to be so stubborn?" Realization struck her and a small smile crossed her face. "But he didn't die alone. That was what he was afraid of the most…dying alone in the freezing snow.'"

Ron felt his body tighten as her sobs grew worse, and a trigger of comprehension hit him when she had said 'did'. Why did she use past tense? He was there! Sleeping! He watched his sister cry more and Hermione cover Harry's face with the blanket and couldn't fathom it. Harry had been awake, hadn't he? Ron's throat constricted sharply and felt his heart pound hard in his chest as he stared at the outline of Harry under the blanket, and a feeling of desolation befell him. They were alone. Never again would life be the same, and they were so close to winning the war…now without him.

"Ron, leave him," Hermione said softly as he inched closer to him. "What are you doing?"

Ron's voice was weak and high-pitched from grief. It couldn't be happening. "I have to see. We saw him yesterday, you know that. Someone must have done it while we were asleep."

"Ginny was awake the whole time, Ron." She watched sadly as he moved closer and pitied him. She reached out her arm but he shoved her away. "It's all right, Ron. Leave him."

He tore the covering off Harry's face and felt his breath hitch. There wasn't the pale white shade that he had earlier. His face, lips and chest were a waxy, ashen gray. His breathing was still, and it looked as if he wasn't even real at all.

"Harry, wake up, mate."

Ginny uttered an angry wail from behind. "Shut up Ron! He's gone, don't you understand!"

"No. I don't! We were all going to find this Horcrux together. That's how it was supposed to be, like always. All of us together as we always had been." Ron's voice cracked and his face flustered bright red. It just sunk heavy in him that he just lost a friend and brother. He didn't get to say goodbye…Harry just slipped away.

Hermione let out a raspy sob. "It was the water and the weather. He must have had pneumonia the whole time. Oh, why didn't I see it!"

Ron was shaken. His friend had been suffering, drowning in front of them and no one did anything to stop it. He couldn't bear it any longer. Loud gasps escaped his mouth and he gathered Harry roughly in his arms. Moaning, Ron wept into his chest and felt his body break down like it never had before. This only angered Ginny more.

"Stop it! Stop it and leave him alone. Harry needs his peace."

"I don't see you doing anything about it!" he shouted in a voice unlike his own.

"What am I supposed to do? He's dead! The Harry I loved is gone, I don't want to see that!"

Hermione didn't say a word. The shock and pain numbed her senses, and it seemed that deep inside she knew this was going to happen. Harry was too ill and too malnourished in the weather. Had she been trying to deny it the whole time?

The sun was beginning to slip towards the mountains when Lupin returned. He was excited and full of energy. "I found a cave! We can take shelter there and stay clear of the weather and Death Eaters." He saw their miserable expressions and Ginny began to weep again. "What happened?"

No one could say a word. Hermione, who was closest to him, stood and beckoned him. Ron watched as the man's face turned from concern to sheer panic in an instant.

"WHAT!" Lupin shoved her away and ripped the blankets off of Harry. Upon seeing the body he gave out a short scream.

"It happened this morning," Ron whispered. "From the weather and the drowning. Hermione said it was pneumonia." Remus was thinking the same as Ron. Wasn't he fine just yesterday? Wasn't he improving?"

"Oh, James, Lily, Sirius, I'm so sorry!" the man muttered as he too collapsed next to Harry and held him close. So many memories came back to them but were crushed by the truth. Ron couldn't understand why it had to be now that Harry had to die. Out of all the battles, why was it now as he died in the freezing cold, drowning from the water in his lungs?

"You remember how you feel right now forever," Lupin said suddenly with force. "When you see those Death Eaters and Voldemort's ugly arse, remember this moment. Harry did not die in vain, and we shall finish this, do you understand?"

"Yes, Lupin," Hermione answered strongly. "I'll remember."

"As will I."

"Me too," sighed Ginny wearily, but she meant it. Her anger toward Harry had vanished, and now all she had was sadness.

"Good. Now all of you get some sleep. I want to be alone."


	10. The Burning

**This is when it gets to the morbid part. Sorry if you don't like Harry getting hurt and dying, but it's a habit of mine!**

Chapter 10 The Burning

As the night grew colder and the three adolescents slept fitfully, Remus sat cross-legged with Harry's body before him. In his heart, the sadness was overcome with the hatred, antipathy and rage of the loss they suffered. Glaring into the darkness concealed from the dying fire, he clutched Harry's robe and breathed heavily. Remus had had enough. Enough of the traveling, the stress and seeing his loved ones die. All Harry wanted was to live like everyone else…to live free and be loved. Damn that Lucius Malfoy who stole it from him by forcing the boy sliding off the cliff into a frigid fate. He didn't even know if the Death Eater was killed by his assault or not. They were far too concerned for Harry to care at all.

"Remus," a gruff voice said behind him, and Lupin saw Ron walk in his direction. "You're still awake?"

"Couldn't sleep."

Ron sat beside him, glancing feebly at Harry's ashen face. "What are we going to do now? I don't know what to do."

"We continue as planned."

Lupin's answers were short, and it worried Ron terribly. But he had to bring the subject up. "And Harry? What do we do?"

Remus didn't answer at once. He himself had been contemplating the very question. What were they going to do with him? His voice was lodged in his throat and he felt that if he were to open his mouth, all of the pain he had held back would be freed.

"If we hurry, Ron, he will be taken care of. Tonight."

The muscles in Ron's chest contracted at the chilling words his ex-professor had just verbalized. Taken care of? "Sir, do you mean bury him?"

"No."

His mind reeled. No? _NO?_ What else would they have to do? What on earth would Lupin think of that did not include a decent burial? Unless…

"I'm not going to do it! If you think—"

"Ron," the man sighed. "It is quick and more respectful than just leaving him out in the open. Who knows what sort of creatures lurks in these woods that would—"

Ron didn't let him finish, sickened at the thought of what Lupin was going to finish saying. "We can't let the girls see that! And we are being followed, Remus!"

"We will be gone before they get near. As for the girls, they will not see it. It will only be you and I."

"_But to burn him, Lupin! In the open!_" he calmed down some and went on, "Why can't we bury him? I don't want to see him…" Ron mimicked flames and threw down his arms in despair. He paced the ground nervously, feeling his throat tighten just thinking about what will happen. Why did this have to happen? Why was it that he had to get rid of his best friend's body?

"The ground is too hard. We're going to do this, Ronald, whether you want to or not. If you wish, I will do it myself. I realize that this is difficult for you to handle." Remus instantly saw the boy's expression harden almost at once. All the pain began to dissipate and he saw the familiar rancor he had in his own eyes.

"I'll go. I'm not going to fail him. Not now."

"Good. Grab a branch and torch it. I'll bring him."

Ron did as he was told. He tried not to listen as Remus performed a spell so that Harry's body would relax from the stiffness that death brought. He was going to get through this without losing it.

The night was frozen and desolate as they jogged stealthily through the vegetation, and Ron followed Lupin, watching the outline of Harry's still face glow dimly under the moonlight. Glancing up, he noticed for the first time how magnificent the stars looked that night. He would forever see the moon and stars, and then see Harry lying limp in the arms of Lupin…The contours of his face gleaming as if peace were too precious a gift.

Remus slowly came to a steady trot before stopping in a small clearing near a frozen creek. If Ron listened hard he could hear the echoes of the ice snapping from the surface. Lupin set Harry down, almost as if he had no value. It took every fiber in Ron's body not to get angry. Now wasn't the time.

"Stand there a moment and hold the torch so I can gather sticks. Hold it steady!"

Ron watched him scramble to gather them with pity. Never in his life had he dreamed he would be standing in the middle of the forest preparing to burn someone he cared about. It was always someone else, but never one of his closest friends. Ron couldn't help but feel curiosity of Harry. He was lying there, unmoving and obviously rid of life, but Ron felt oddly at peace. He couldn't understand it. He guessed that he realized now that Harry would never be hurt again. That Harry was now with the people he lacked in this God-forsaken world, and it made Ron relieved. He stood there, oblivious to everything else but Harry. The faint glow still illuminated his face, and Ron had a daydream that he would suddenly wake up, confused about why he was carrying a torch and Remus collecting wood. The thought forced a smile of Ron's face.

"Are you ready?" asked Lupin from far away.

Ron nodded slowly, never tearing his eyes away from Harry. Lupin dragged him under his shoulders to the center of the clearing and placed the sticks around and under him. Ron felt sweat clam his hands and made the torch hard to grasp. The time was growing nearer. As the blanket was draped over him and more sticks piled on, Ron couldn't hold back the tears that had refused to escape. The peace he saw of Harry had vanished. What was he doing!

"Ron, remember what I said. Don't ever forget this for as long as you live. We still have a war to fight, and we will do it without him."

"I understand." Ron also realized that Remus had yet to mention Harry's name at all. Was it too painful to say it?

The man sighed heavily and took the torch out of his quivering hand. The sticks were not wet as Ron had first thought, so he knew it would be quick. Remus held the torch a moment and closed his eyes briefly; finally letting go.

Ron felt his heart beat hard. He could hear it in his ears. The fire spread quickly from the top of the blanket and gleamed so brightly the two of them had to shield their eyes a moment. But he saw what was happening to his best mate. Harry's body became inflamed and the outline of his form frightened Ron until he stood stiff. It was as if Harry was uncovered, pleading to be freed from the scorching flames.

Remus saw him over the smoke. It appeared that Ron had aged twenty years if not more, watching the terrible action before them. Tears had formed again in his eyes. He could smell it…he could smell what was burning…!"

"Stop. Stop it!" he whimpered.

"Ron!" Remus yelled, bringing him to his senses. " Let's go wake the girls. We must move!"

But Ron didn't want to leave! Harry was there…burning…burning away!

"I can't!"

"MOVE!"

It seemed like everything was in slow motion on the way back to camp. All Ron could hear was the sound of his breath gasping as he ran, and the whimpers that his throat would not stop making. As he closed his eyes, only for a moment, he saw the flames eating Harry away. He was free from nothing. It all kept him prisoner in his mind, watching it over and over again…

They had reached the camp faster than they expected, and Ron's mind awoke when Remus began shouting, "Wake up! Girls, let's go." He tore off the blankets riddled with holes and shook them to a sitting position.

"What's happening?" Hermione cried warily. Lupin told her they may have been sighted and she scurried to pack her knapsack, but Ginny hadn't moved.

Gathering supplies blindly and trying to contain his emotions, Ron called to his sister, "Stand up, we're going."

But she didn't move. Her eyes were scrutinizing the empty place where Harry had been. "Where is he?"

Ron grabbed her arm and shoved her ahead of him. "Just run, Gin, run!"

Hermione caught his eye and he realized that she had pieced it together. He would never forget the look she gave him. She knew.

"No!" Ginny screamed. "What did you two do with him?" Her eyes became huge as the guilt cut deeper into his stomach. "Oh, God Ron, you didn't!"

"Gin, shut up and move!"

"You didn't!"

Hermione took hold of her arm and as they ran, he saw her whisper words in her ear. All Ginny could do was wail in grief again and again.

Remus knew where to go. Hogsmeade was only about thirty miles away if they changed course southeast. From there they could escape to Hogwarts and recuperate. The girls were falling apart before their eyes, and Ron, it seemed, was numb but functional. It may be the girl's last trek for the war at that point.

The four of them in accompany with McGonagall, barged into the Hospital Wing at four in the morning.

"Poppy!" the headmistress screeched into an unlocked door. "It's them, hurry!"

Remus took hold of Ginny and seated her on the nearest hospital bed. "All of you rest. The nurse will give you a calming draught."

Ron collapsed onto another bed and stared blankly at the ceiling, ignoring the badgering stare of Hermione that accused him of an unforgivable treachery. Looking aside, he now focused on the nurse attending Ginny's bedside.

"Here you are, dear, take this and sleep."

"I won't! I want to know what they did with Harry. I know it was the two of you!"

McGonagall stared at who she was pointing to and grew puzzled. "Remus, what is she carrying on about?"

Ginny was about to answer, but the nurse shoved the potion down her throat and was asleep in seconds.

"I'll speak to you in private with Dumbledore." He replied wearily.

As they left quickly, Ron could tell that McGonagall was cottoning on. Her eyes had suddenly widened, and her steps more diligent.

"I'll return with some for you two as well," the nurse said as she departed.

Ron was afraid of being alone with Hermione. He knew what was going to happen next. At any moment. She stirred in the bed and made a sniffling sound. The silence was overbearing.

"You can go ahead and ask me. Ginny is sleeping now."

"Fine," she replied tiredly. "Where did you and Remus take Harry?"

"Before I answer I just want to say that I didn't want to do it. Lupin thought of it, even when I suggested another way."

"Where did you put him?" Her voice became more dangerous and Ron's heartbeat began to race again.

His face was reddening in agony as the scene flashed in front of him again. "Lupin said we had to get rid of him and when he said that, I became angry. It was as if Harry was something undesirable and worthless. I told him to bury him, it would have been more pleasant. He said no."

His voice hitched for a moment and he saw her eyes suddenly flash in realization.

"Don't tell me you—"

"WE BURNED HIM, HERMIONE! HOW LOW IS THAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO SEE THAT AND BE RESPONSIBLE FOR DOING THAT TO YOUR BEST MATE?"

Hermione trembled and covered her mouth. She wasn't focusing on him, but her attention was drifting elsewhere, imagining the sight of it. Ron cringed when she uttered a small wail and curled herself into a fetal position on the blanket.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Hermione only cried worse with her sides racking in sobs. "Oh, Ron!"

Her back was facing him and all he wanted her to do was to hit him, beat him for the act he had committed. Was he noble or foolish? Did they do the right thing?

He spoke quietly, trying to hold his emotion in. "Something had to be done, Hermione. We couldn't have just left him there or take him with us, you know that."

"But thinking of him like that is awful! Burning away, and he was our friend. We were always trying to protect him, and he died anyway."

Ron buried his face in his hands as he sat up and wept. "I'm sorry, I really am! I can't stand to think about it, but every time I close my eyes I see it and smell the air. Imagine having to smell what was happening!"

He didn't expect it when hands grasped his and pulled them away from his face. Hermione's red, swollen face appeared in front of him. "You did what you had to do, Ron. I understand. It must have been terrible, but Harry would have been happy to see you go through with it for him, I would think. You weren't afraid enough to simply leave him the way he was and abandon his body out there. You didn't back down like we had, and I feel like I am the terrible friend because I couldn't cope enough. I'm proud of you."

Remus Lupin felt his shoulders sag after finishing the story of their last few days to McGonagall and Dumbledore. All he wanted to do now was weep and have a night's rest. The thought of what he had done that night had created a cave-like hole inside his chest knowing that he was responsible for burning Lily and James' son.

McGonagall was stifling sobs as she stumbled into the chair near Dumbledore's portrait. Lupin didn't want to look at her. "Dead? The boy is gone? And how…how could you have done that! He was a boy!"

"I had no choice!" Remus replied a little too harshly.

"No choice! Hmph! The least you could have done was to bring him with you. His body would have done fine on the walk here on a stretcher."

"Minerva," Albus said quietly in despair. "You cannot leave a body out that long, not counting the psychological effect it would have on the others seeing him dead for days."

"And what do you have to say about this, Albus? You had the power to stop him from fighting. You knew Potter was driven by hatred and anger and yet you did nothing!"

Dumbledore appeared more angry and his brows became furrowed together. "Harry had been given a choice. Something he was never given by me before. I believe Harry chose the right thing. He knew his place, Minerva. His life had been marred and torn long enough, and he was not going to back down to end what had been so terribly exhausting. I had no right to tell him he could not do this."

McGonagall released a sob and paced the room with her arms folded across her chest. "He was just a boy! Boys are not supposed to fight."

"You had made my mistake. You cared for him too much. It is common that when mothers love their children too much they do not allow them to make their own decisions. These mothers stage their children's lives to ward off any instances of pain or unwanted discovery. I had done this for too long and almost lost Harry's trust, and had gotten Sirius killed. Harry had a calling that I could not refuse him. He is dead now, yes, but it may have been for the best. I do not know. But I am proud of him just the same."

Remus spoke suddenly, "Please, sir, I do not wish to make this public if I could. The Wizarding World needs comfort and hope, and the enemies do not need encouragement."

"I agree, Remus. If anyone should ever ask, make sure they never come to realize the truth."

"What do you plan to do now?" McGonagall whispered after a pause.

"I'm going to take Ron Weasley with me to finish this. The Order will meet us. I do not believe the girls will handle much more after what had happened."

Albus nodded. "Weasley will do right. Leave the girls back into the care of his mother."

"I will."

When Remus returned to the Hospital Wing all three of the teenagers were fast asleep in the beds. All he could do was stare at them for a moment and think that instead of only three there should have been one more.

"Mr. Lupin," Pomfrey said from inside her office. "Your potion is on the table near the bed. You'll go right to sleep with that."

And that's all he wanted.


	11. Moving On

**Okay, now that most of the sad stuff is over, let's continue! Please Review.**

Chapter 11 Moving On

When Ginny awoke the next morning, she almost forgot what had happened the day before as she felt the soft sheets and warm blanket. Her mind suddenly snapped and she bolted straight up in the bed, breathing panickly. Ginny remembered. Harry was gone now and they were alone. What was going to happen now?

Ron was still asleep, but Hermione, she noticed, was lying on her side facing the window gazing miserably. Did she know what they did with Harry?

"Did he tell you?" she asked quietly. "I want to know where they put him."

"You don't want to know." Was the deadened reply.

A flicker of anger streaked across Ginny's chest. "And why not? I loved him, why don't I have a right to?"

Hermione didn't answer at first, but rolled over and looked weakly at her. After a moment she said softly, "He's gone, that's what happened."

Rage consumed her at this point. "Don't you dare think that you will forget him now! He isn't just gone, you hear me? What did they do?"

Hermione smiled. "You never shut up, do you?" Ginny pursed her lips in fury. "But if you _really_ want to find out, I'll tell you simply that Harry is gone because Lupin and Ron burned him. Now he is ash."

Horror caused Ginny's jaw to drop. She watched as Hermione giggled slightly at her reaction and couldn't believe it. _Ron helped put Harry on fire?_

"Stop laughing!" she cried in agony. "What's wrong with you?"

"I don't know why. I just can't believe all this actually happened. Just think that we were innocent and naïve kids only some years ago and now look at us. Look at Harry. He was alive and he's turned to nothing."

"SHUT UP!"

"Gin, what are you yelling about?" Ron asked sleepily.

She turned her anger to him. "How could you have done that Ron! What will Mum say? Oh, how could you? You're so sick!"

Ron didn't reply. He noticed that Lupin was missing and decided to find him at once. He couldn't bear to be with them any longer. Quietly he said, "I'm finding Lupin. I'll see you two later."

Hermione watched him leave sadly but couldn't find the words to comfort him. None of them knew what to do now. No one expected Harry to die at all.

Ron didn't even know where to look. He heard the sounds of the remaining students file into the Great Hall and remembered the mornings when he and Harry would do the same. Hungry and irritable from sleep, both would wait impatiently for Dumbledore to stop talking so they could eat. The memory only made Ron more depressed.

He decided to check McGonagall's office although he did not know the password. She was probably at the hall with everyone else, but he wasn't sure if Lupin would be with her. He didn't need to think any further.

"Weasley, where are you going? Why did you leave the others in the Hospital Wing?"

He turned and saw the Headmistress briskly heading in his direction from behind him. "I don't want to talk to them. They blame me for what happened to Harry."

Her silence made his stomach queasy but he ignored it as she replied. "Well, I suppose I understand what you mean. If you wish you may eat at the Teacher's table, or with your House."

"Excuse me, but I'd rather eat with Lupin. Have you seen him at all?"

McGonagall seemed to deflate in front of him. "He has just left to break the news to your mother and the Order. I do not believe he would be in the mood to eat when he returns, so I advise you to eat now."

Ron felt a hard lump bulge in his throat in response. "My Mum? Why would he want to tell her? She'll be devastated. Losing Harry is like losing one of her own children."

Tears lined the outside of McGonagall's eyes and she quickly tried to regain her composure. "Nothing can be done. Not any of us can elude from the truth of what has happened. If you wish, I can send you to Grimmauld after breakfast."

"Yes. I need to be there for her. She'll be in pieces for days." Ron suppressed another throb of his throat and tried to keep silent. He suddenly realized that he had never really grieved for losing Harry. He had been upset telling Hermione what he had done, but it was his own guilt. Not about Harry's death. He went on, "And I need to find time to grieve as well. I haven't had the time, to be honest."

McGonagall nodded. "Where do you wish to eat now? Do you wish to be alone?"

Ron agreed. "Can I?"

"I'll let you eat in my office. Dumbledore may try to talk to you, but just tell him to stuff a cork in it."

Ron stifled a laugh and smiled at the Professor, who winked at him. And for a moment, Ron had a feeling that everything would be fine.

Several hours later, Ron felt the dead silence of the house as he entered Grimmauld Place that afternoon alone. If anything, it was certainly colder. He walked slowly down the hallway to the kitchen where he heard plates clattering weakly. Ron opened the door and saw his mother with her back to him miserably washing the dishes, and he realized she was doing it by hand. She had made them do the same in order to forget that Harry was missing months ago.

"Mum?" he croaked. She spun around and looked him in the eye in fear. He noticed they were bloodshot and her face was flushed.

"Oh, Ronald dear! I wasn't expecting you here, I'm sorry. I must look completely dreadful!" She fretted with her hair and attempted to clean her face.

Ron shrugged. "You look fine to me. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, that's all."

Sadness made her stop and her eyes began to water again. His mother held out her arms and he fell into him as he had when he was five.

"I miss him so much, Mum. He was with us and then he left. We didn't expect it and—"

"Shh," she said softly. "I know you do, dear. Harry was a special friend of this family. He's done so much for us. It feels as if I have lost a son."

Ron felt the agony begin to pour out of him as he continued, "It's not fair! He didn't deserve to die when he was fighting for something good. I remember sitting there watching him sleep after he got sick and wondered if there was something I could have done. I didn't want to think that he was dying. I think all of us did that. We just said he was getting better and waited for it to happen. Why didn't we see it? Maybe he would be alive now if I had said something."

"Nonsense, Ron!" his mother cried painfully. "His sickness was unavoidable in this weather, and nothing but a Healer could help that. It is all right to fear death, Ronald. It isn't something people speak of lightly. Harry is with those he needed to be with his entire life. He is with his loving parents. Remember that."

They broke apart and sat near the table. His mother smoothed his hair and planted a kiss on his forehead. Ron could feel conflicting emotions inside him. He was relieved knowing what his mother had said was true, but also felt abandoned. Now he understood how Harry had felt after Sirius had died. Ron realized that it wasn't his fault, but he was involved. That was why he felt responsible for Harry's death. There was no excuse for his part in the burning, however, but he tried to convince himself there was no other way. Like Harry, Ron could not help but feel abandoned by him. Harry was the person who he admired and was the reason he fought against Voldemort. Harry had given him strength and encouragement, but now he was gone.

"What has Dad said? Anything?"

"I have not seen him since Remus came. I think he is in the bedroom."

"And the others?"

"Mad-Eye said nothing as he left. Tonks sat here awhile to comfort us and she too disappeared. It has been an awful day."

Ron grew angry and said, "I bet Kreacher is celebrating at the news. No doubt he ditched us for the Malfoys."

"Oh, him?" She asked. "I've seen him around, tidying up. To be honest I think he's upset and doesn't know what to do with himself. Harry supposedly left the house to us. He actually listened to me when I told him to make sure your rooms were clean. Not a speck of dirt."

"Why would Kreacher be sad about Harry?"

Ron's mother looked at him in surprise. "You didn't know?"

"Know what?"

"Harry struck a deal with him. Told Kreacher that if he knew anything about the Horcruxes or about the Black family he would let Kreacher have the attic and anything Harry didn't think was useful. Has the whole place to himself. No one has ever given him that sort of gift."

Ron was impressed. "Wow, I had no idea."

She gave him a sorrowful look. "Ron, I know this is hard for you, but you need to move on. No matter how much it hurts, it needs to be done."

"I know," he said quietly. "I'm going on with Lupin."

"He told me." Ron realized that she was smiling. "I'm proud of you, Ron. I really am. You've been strong, and I believe you can help kill him."

Ron couldn't believe it. "Thanks, Mum."

She smiled. "Now give me a hand with the dishes. The Order makes such messes of this place!."

**More is coming so please read on! Thanks for staying this long and hope you enjoyed it so far.**


	12. Author's Note!

Please bear with me right now! I'm having both a writer's block and endless school stuff. I promise I will get to the end of the story as soon as possible. Thank you for reading this far, and please check out some of my other stories!

**Lord Voldemort's Birthday Bash!**

**Bloody Revenge**

**Daddy Come Home**

**Facing the Past With a New Generation**

**The Beginning (Based off of Facing the Past with a New Generation)**

**That's all I can remember right now. Tune in another time!**

**Thanks…..the author, IrishEyesAreSmiling**


	13. Starting Over Again

**Yay, new chapter at last! Hope you enjoy it.**

Remus Lupin placed his wand carefully in his robes and sighed heavily as he pondered on the future of the war. All he could think about was how he knew deep inside that this was the end. However it came to be, this trip would finish it all. Ron Weasley was going with him and he too prepared for things to change. It had to.

Ron paced nervously around his room gathering cloaks, gloves and his wand. Harry's bed was empty and wrinkled from the last time he had carelessly made it the morning he left with Lupin. Rolling his socks, Ron could only watch it sadly and remember the anger he felt when he awoke to find a letter on his pillow. The letter Harry wrote to tell him his goodbye. It was pressed between the pages of his Quidditch Through the Ages book where a muggle picture of the three of them was placed. Ron would stare at the photograph earnestly, memorizing the contours of Harry's smile and knowing that none of him existed any longer.

A knock sounded at the door and he saw Hermione slide her face to meet him. "How are you doing?"

Ron looked away and stuffed another robe into the bag on his bed. "Fine."

She laughed. "You're like Harry, you know that? You always lie about your feelings. Want some lunch? Your Mum made sandwiches."

He didn't say anything in response about Harry. Thinking about him made his stomach twist. "I'm fine. Remus and I are leaving soon anyway, I don't need any."

Hermione slowly came behind him and embraced Ron around his waist. He couldn't say anything to her. "I'm going to miss you. Please be careful and write to us. Come home safe. We don't want what happened to Harry happen again."

Ron turned around and kissed the top of her head. "I'm too determined to die. I'm doing this for the Wizarding world and for Harry. He should be here with us."

Hermione pushed herself away slowly and wiped the tears out of her eyes. "You can do it."

Before leaving, Ron could not get his mother off his case. She grabbed him into a fierce bear hug every moment she was near him, and she wiped her face on her dishcloth as she had done when Harry had died. Ginny still had not forgiven him for what had happened, but she did say her goodbye and let Wallace give Ron a kiss goodbye too. The dog squirmed in her arms to go to Ron and nestled himself back into her arms after he was done.

Remus walked briskly into the kitchen and tugged on Ron's robes roughly. "We need to go. Tonks just called about a lead to the Death Eaters."

"Right." He said weakly.

Mrs. Weasley embraced him one last time and wept into his shoulder. "Oh, please be careful, Ronald! Mind Remus and do your best to return, you hear?"

"I will, Mum. Love you."

She wept harder and released him muttering, "Love you too, son."

Mr. Weasley gathered him briefly into a father-son hug and patted his back. "You'll do well, son. Harry would be proud. _We_ are proud of you."

"Thanks, Dad."

Ron couldn't remember what else happened that night. It all seemed to be a dark blur, but he found himself in the forest with Remus Lupin walking and walking and walking. All he could say to himself was that he had to do it for Harry. He had to do it for his family. He had to right his wrongs, and he would do it correctly without fail. He just HAD to!

**Sorry this chapter is short and basically useless, but I need to finish this story soon. Stay tuned please and I love you all!**


	14. Calm Before the Storm

**The Calm Before the Storm**

**Here's more! Thanks to all my reviewers! Krumfan, GagHafrunt, RK Binx and ojuotaku!**

Ron blinked a few times as the morning sun peeked itself over the mountain after the first night in the forest. His body was so much in rest that he almost forgot where he was, but after feeling the cold ground his senses snapped him awake. Lupin was still asleep beside him and Ron realized that the man appeared defeated and old compared to his persona when they first met. Amazing what a few years could do to someone. The image of Harry crossed his mind, but he shifted it aside at once and began starting a fire for breakfast. He couldn't be thinking about that right now.

Ron had never really made a meal before, it had been Hermione and Ginny's job in the forest, but he didn't seem to do half bad. Remus greeted him morosely and ate in silence, apparently in favor of his cooking.

"Is Tonks arriving?" asked Ron as he placed some food on his tin plate. "She said that she was going to give us a new lead."

"No. We were already given a lead. We believe that Voldemort is in either Croydon or Dover in the southeast. Dover is near the ocean and Croydon is south of London. We are going to meet up in Dover at an Inn. She'll be in disguise, of course. As an old woman."

"We've Disappearated about a day's worth of travel, right? How many days until we reach Dover?"

Lupin sniffed and ran his fingers through his matted gray hair. "Only half a day. We just wanted to be sure that we had a clear entrance into it. Tonks is already there and rented a room."

"Is it a muggle place?"

"Yes. We will have to take our robes off and enter the inn with our shirts and pants. We don't want attention."

Ron felt the thrill of the adventure and wondered if Harry would be proud of him right now. Never had Ron taken in such responsibilities and now he was growing up. Harry had done it too quickly. Ron drilled himself to think in Harry's place. What would he do? What would he say? The act of it was maddening; how had he done it?

"I'm glad you decided to join us, Ron," Remus said quietly after both had eaten and were left in silence. "It means a lot to the Order and our world. They give you their respect."

Ron's face turned pink. "I just thought it was the right thing to do. I couldn't stop now."

"Exactly. And I honor you for it."

"Do you think he would have?" Ron dared to ask.

Remus appeared confused, or at least tried to pretend he had not the slightest inkling of what he was saying. "Whom do you mean?"

"You know who." He felt a flicker or agitation as he heard the man's tone. He suddenly saw the image of this man dropping his dead friend carelessly onto the ground like he was not a person at all.

"What does it matter," Remus replied dangerously. "The reason why people continue to weep for those they lost is because they do not let go. They torture themselves over what ifs and could be's. You do not need to think about him now, it will only drag you down farther and right now that cannot be tolerated."

"You're foolish!" Ron exclaimed in anger. "How could it be that easy to just forget that a person ever existed? You've tried it and look at you! I don't want Harry to be forgotten, I want him to continue to exist for me. The day I forget what he looks like is the day I would want to die."

Remus threw down his plate and began packing the blankets as fast as he could while Ron ranted on. "Do you think that it's easier to forget than to remember and appreciate what they brought you? Sometimes doing what is easy is not the right choice."

"You did not grow up in a time of war!" Lupin roared in frustration. Tears were leaking from his eyes. "You HAD to do it to move on, Ron. When everyone that meant something to you were dead you had to numb it and pretend that it was only a dream because it kept you going. I loved Harry, Ron, I really did. He was my best friend's son. I held him in my arms when he was a baby and grew up with his parents. I tried to father him and teach him to survive at Hogwarts so that he might have a chance to a better life. I failed, Ron! I need to forget him, at least for now. Please, just allow me to do it just for now."

Ron was blown away. His voice trembled as he gave a weak response and turned away. Is that what he had to do in order to continue? Even as he tried memories kept leaking through…the day they met on the train, flying in the car their second year, battling the troll in the girl's bathroom, seeing him battle a dragon, and how frightened he looked as he awoke from his nightmares that plagued him. How could he forget the boy who befriended and trusted him when he had no one else?

"We'd better head east," Lupin muttered from far away. "If we want to make time." Ron picked up his backpack and slowly walked in his direction, looking up when he went on. "And Ron? Harry would be proud of you. Even more proud of you than I." Remus smiled faintly and so did he after the man turned around. He suddenly felt lighter in spirit.

The fog that shrouded the streetlights of Dover failed to thin as the sight of the worn down inn came into view. Both men trudged with their belongings like weary travelers and breathed smoke from their mouths and nostrils. Ron could read the sign to the foreboding structure: The Dover Inn…established in 1855.

"You've got to be kidding." He whispered to the man beside him.

"Hurry, Tonks awaits us."

Ron jumped the stairs and tried in vain to remove the snow and mud from his shoes before opening the door. It creaked loudly and for a moment he retreated backwards. An old man peered over a green book with cold eyes like steel.

"What do you want, a room? Supper? We have no vacancy!"

Remus walked near the desk. "No. I am here for a Mrs. O'Toole. Is she here?"

The old man glanced suspiciously as he poked his large nose through the pages of faded parchment. Ron took this time to examine the room and saw that three deer heads were protruding from the walls and a bear skin was in a heap near a grimy looking couch by the fireplace. The floor appeared half-rotted and the chandelier above the man had stringy cobwebs dangling near his derby hat that was smudged with grease. Ron didn't like the looks of the place at all.

"Yes, yes. Mrs. O'Toole came here early this morning. Her room number is 34. Down the hall to your left. Should be the last room to the right."

"Thank you for your help." Remus pulled Ron along, who watched in apprehension as the old man kept gazing intently at the both of them. Was he a spy or just a bugged out old geezer?

"Now remember," Remus said quietly as they were out of sight. "We must speak softly during our stay here. The walls are very thin and anything could happen."

"What about that man back there? He seemed to be an odd character."

"That's all he is. Tonks and Mad-Eye were clear about that. Gave him the truth potion and when he failed to show any answers they cleared his memory."

They reached the room faster than he thought and while Remus knocked Ron could hear a clanking of glasses inside.

"Hello?" an elderly voice trembled behind the wood.

Remus turned slightly pink and Ron grew curious. "We've come with a basket of goodies for Grandmother." Ron could see that his face was now bright red and he found it hard to hide a smirk.

The door opened at once and the ugliest woman Ron had ever seen grinned a toothless smile. "You made it!" She ushered them in and barred the door. Only a single candle on the table that was smoldering lighted the room.

"You didn't use the electricity?"

"It's too strange," Tonks replied. "Plus I hear that they cause ekletic fires and things like that. I can manage a candle!"

Ron laughed and replied quietly. "Have you knocked it over yet? And by the way, what was that basket of goodies all about?"

"Tonks found out about this muggle story about a girl walking in the forest to give her Grandmother a basket of goodies and what happened?"

"The wolf had eaten the Grandma and was trying to eat the girl by tricking her into thinking he was her dead Grandmother. I think it ended by some lumberman cutting open the wolf and saving the old woman."

"Hmm…"Ron replied. "Some children's story."

Remus paced the room and took off his bag. "What do you have for us?"

"Voldemort is not far from here, that's the scary yet good news. It hasn't leaked to the Ministry yet so that we could get closer in preparation for an ambush at some mansion in the country. That's where he is. Shacklebolt followed a suspicious figure heading back to it with something under his arms. When he reached the house Kingsley saw three Death Eaters welcoming him in. We have yet to discern what exactly was in the package so that is something to cause concern for."

"When is the attack going to happen?" Ron asked.

Tonks melted back into her original form and she appeared very uncomfortable. "In three days time. Now that all of the Horcurxes have been destroyed, Voldemort is weak. We can take him down then if we could get past his henchmen."

Ron was confused. "But doesn't Voldemort know that we had been targeting his Horcruxes? Wouldn't he be doing something else besides hiding out in a house, like attacking the Ministry?"

Tonks shrugged hopelessly. "Apparently it seems as if he hasn't noticed at all. I had a talk with Dumbledore's portrait and he claims that he would not be able to feel it. The only person that could know for sure is Harry if he had tried to enter Voldemort's mind or felt his emotions."

A brief silence fell into the room and no one linked eyes. Ron was brainstorming, for once it seemed, and a sudden fearful feeling erupted in his chest. "What about Voldemort trying to get into Harry's mind? If he tries it again he's going to realize that something isn't right. Sooner or later he'll know that he's gone."

Remus nodded. "We hope that he speculates Harry has mastered Occlumency."

"Hope? You hope that will be the case?"

Lupin opened his mouth to speak but Tonks cut him off. "We still have faith in Severus Snape. Voldemort trusts him and if asked, Severus will suggest that Harry has mastered it. It would be the only option for the block into his mind."

Ron's mouth fell open in shock. "That slimy bastard? You still trust him? God, now we're all going downhill."

"We have made contact, Ron," Remus answered softly. "We heard Dumbledore's testimony after Harry died and then heard Snape's. They are the same. Severus is using his subversive talent to give us leads. Who do you think gave us the tip about Dover?"

"But you also said he could be in Croydon."

Tonks leapt to respond. "They were changing headquarters. Apparently yesterday they moved into that mansion after fleeing from Croydon. Snape told us immediately of their removal."

Ron said nothing. All he could think about was how much Harry had loathed this man and all the dumb and tedious detentions both had during their years at Hogwarts. Who could ever love such a man who had murdered Albus Dumbledore and ran with the Death Eaters? He found it hard to understand.

"Look," said Tonks. "You two need rest. The bed is small so only one of us could sleep there. I can make a bed on the floor."

"Right. Ron, you take the bed, you need a good rest. You deserve it. I'll make one down here as well." Replied Lupin wearily.

Ron wanted to object and let Lupin take the bed but a sudden wave of drowsiness changed his mind. For once he could rest on sheets instead of dirt. As the night fell darker and the fog more dense, he found it hard to close his eyes. If felt odd to be warm and comfortable and the days events still had him filled with adrenaline. His mind wandered and came to his family, then Hermione, then finally to Harry. Only then did he fall asleep knowing that he could still remember what he looked like.


	15. Remitto tu ad Laboris

Remitto tu ad Laboris 

Ron was dreaming. Sound asleep in the bed of the inn he dreamed he was flying on a broomstick outside his house when a voice called from behind. "Ron! Oi!"

Ron spun around sharply in panic and was petrified to see Harry flying toward him with an apple in his hand.

"H…Harry?" he gasped.

"Yeah, who do you think it is?" he laughed. "Are you going to play catch or what?"

Sitting in confusion and fear, Ron only stared. Harry was alive! He was breathing and smiling! It was the Harry from years ago back to be his friend again.

"You're getting creamed!" Harry laughed again at his remark and flew back where he was some yards away.

"Here it comes!" Harry threw the apple…hard…and Ron ducked as he heard the wind whistle past his ear.

"Aw, that was a perfect throw!"

"Perfect? You nearly took my head clear off? Where is it?" Ron was fuming a bit. He was used to being put down but from Harry who was dead and came back again for some strange reason was something quite new to him.

"Never mind, I see it. Next time I'll do it lower." Ron watched him glide toward the ground to retrieve it and felt a pang of fear as a large wave of water began to turn over the yard and trap Harry in front of him. Ron coughed up water and tried to fly towards his friend but he could barely see at all.

"Ron, Ron help!" He could hear Harry screaming, go silent, then scream another time, and all he could think was, "not again!"

"I'm coming!" Ron held his hand out and tagged his hand, but his grip was loosening. Storm clouds thundered and lighting flashed dangerously close making him terrified. Ron knew he couldn't let Harry die again. Not now as he held on tight and fought the raging current that tore both off their brooms. He believed he could save him. He believed that until he saw the monstrous mouth of the waves rise above like a towering demon and collapse over Harry, breaking their chain. Ron was fighting the water to reach the surface and found it quit suddenly, alone and chilled.

"Harry! Harry!" Screaming did no good. The clashing of the thunder drowned him out and the waves showed no sign of Harry's existence. He was like before: gone.

In the midst of the waves and churning waters Ron began to weep. His body racked with loud sobs as he discovered the truth. Losing hope, he rested on his back and let the waves carry him. He wanted them to drown him like they did Harry.

Suddenly, Ron felt a tug on his leg so sharp that he yelped and felt himself plunge deeper into the water. Was a beast devouring him? Almost as soon as it happened it stopped and he found himself falling several feet in dry air and collapsing onto a forest floor. Ron was bewildered. The clothes on his body were not wet. His hair was not disheveled and the only chill he felt was that of the winter night.

"What the bloody hell just happened?" he muttered to himself. The area seemed familiar to him. Where had he seen it? The creek was nearby and he heard the water trickling faintly in the night. The forest was silent but now and then an owl would hoot or snow would collapse from the tall trees above. A loud crack made him start, thinking a wizard was Appearating at that very moment, but nothing happened. The night was still silent and after a few moments it dawned on him. The creek was thawing. He had heard this before…the night that Harry was burned. The realization made Ron panic. What was going on? Was Harry punishing him for the treacherous thing he did? Was he really pleading for his help when Remus lit him afire?

It happened quickly and without warning. Ron turned to run away from this place. He wanted to flee and never return, but as he spun around, there in his path was Harry. He stood quite calmly with a comforting smile and soft eyes that shone in the moonlight. It appeared that he wanted to communicate but he said nothing at all. He only stared.

Ron was petrified. This was it! He was going to be reprimanded at last! "Harry, mate, I didn't want to do this to you! I didn't want Remus to do it! I'm sorry I didn't try to save you. We didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to do and I should have because I am your friend. Why did it have to end like this, Harry? It wasn't supposed to."

Harry's expression did not fade away. Ron wondered if he could even hear him, but as the silence followed for a short while later, Harry at last opened his mouth. "What happened before doesn't matter now, Ron. It wasn't your fault and you have to understand that. You have to tell Ginny and Hermione that there was no other way and that you should be forgiven. You have to tell them that they shouldn't cry about what happened anymore because they must move on. Ron, I could not have asked for a better friend than you. Always you were there and you have done what had to be done. Fighting alongside the Order is brave and honorable for you, but I must now leave my place among it. Ron, I believe and trust in your ability to finish this. It must be done. I have never told any of you how much I was proud to see your determination and support. It touched me deeply, and it pains me to know that it must now be done in your hands alone."

Ron's face was glistening with heavy tears that were released in his sobs. He couldn't describe the emotion he was feeling. He felt so happy and torn all at once. "I miss you, mate! I sound like a stupid idiot but I want you back with us, I cannot do this alone! I don't know what to do. I'm not good at anything like you were and I can't even fight a Death Eater properly. I just want you back so that I can feel how normal things used to be and have my sister happy. I want her to forgive me and have Hermione look at me again. You have no idea how much it hurts to have so many things change in a matter of hours like this."

Harry smiled less. "Many times, I'm afraid. But I want you to know that I'm happy, Ron. I'm with my parents and family. Sirius told me a funny story how he and my dad would make Remus look like a girl when he slept in History of Magic class. I feel rid of all the pain I had before and now at last I am at peace with all that had happened to me. I know you can do this, Ron. Listen to what I am telling you. It is very important and I only have a moment to tell you."

"About what?"

"Voldemort may be mortal, but he is still powerful even without his followers. You need something more than just ordinary magic."

"What do you mean? Like Dark Magic? I don't think the Order will grasp that one."

"Yes and no. It is a very ancient magic. Merlin himself created its existence and it is very powerful if used properly. I can't explain it all now, but I want you to go to Dumbledore's portrait and tell him that I sent you word about something called "Remitto tu ad laboris" He will know what I mean."

Ron tried mumbling the words and nodded. "Right then. I'll do it right away."

Harry smiled again. "Thank you, Ron, and I'm proud of you. Just remember that. You can do this."

The world around Ron faded away before he could say anything else and he awoke from his slumber with a frightened gasp. The night was still and it was dark inside the room of the inn, but Ron was full of adrenaline. Harry had spoken to him!

"Remus! Tonks, get up! We need to get to Hogwarts!"

The adults woke up with a start and Lupin held his wand out in panic through the darkness. "What is it Ron?"

"We have to go to Hogwarts and talk to Dumbledore. It's urgent."

"Urgent?" He questioned. "What for, we attack Voldemort soon."

Tonks lit the lamp near the table and brought it closer so that all faces were visible in the light. Ron was uneasy. Would they believe him?

"Look, I know this sounds ridiculous, but I had a dream. I have a plan to defeat Voldemort but we need Dumbeldore's help with it."

Tonks appeared puzzled. "A dream? Certainly you don't believe a dream will give you an answer like that!"

"No! It happened, I swear!"

Remus shushed him. "Quiet, Ron, remember the walls are thin. Now what are you talking about?"

"This sounds totally bizarre, but Harry was in it and he told me what to do." Ron was worried by their reactions. They seemed to be edgy and Remus began to pace nervously.

"Ron, I know that you miss him but we have priorities. You just dreamed he was talking to you."

Anger was boiling inside him now. They didn't believe him. No one ever did. This was it and if Harry had a last wish to be carried out Ron would be damn sure that it was carried out.

"Harry has a plan and I need to get to Hogwarts with your help or not. I need to do this for him and if that isnt a good enough excuse then you are full of shit."

"Ron!" Remus growled. "Harry had dreams because he had Voldemort's soul in him. Don't be going around thinking you can do the same thing."

Ron glared deep into the man's eyes and dared him to speak again. "You know what he told me? He said that Sirius explained to him how he and James would make you look like a girl in History of Magic because you fell asleep in class. I don't think Harry would have known that or even I."

Tonks fought back a smirk but Remus' face paled extravagantly. "Who told you that? Only the three of us know that."

"Harry did! I need to talk to Dumbledore. He said something about…" he stopped and looked around warily. "I don't want to say it here, but I'm asking you to please let me go."

"I say he goes, Remus," Tonks said promptly. "If it was a dream then we'll find out, but if Harry really did talk to him, this could be a big break for us."

Ron watched Lupin carefully create a strategy in his head and breathed a sigh of relief when he said at last, "You can use the fireplace near the window. Hurry back."

Overjoyed, Ron nodded quickly and dressed into his robes and shoes. "I'll be back." He tossed in the Floo Powder and away he went to Hogwarts.

**I know that you can't go into Hogwarts so easily but being in the Order he knows how to maneuver around. Hope you liked this chapter. I'm not too certain about the Latin but I got the gist of it. If you know the correct way, let me know!**


	16. Harry's Plan From the Beginning

Harry's Plan from the Beginning 

With a loud whoosh Ron landed roughly into the office that once belonged to Albus Dumbledore and careened into something hard. A voice said above him, "Sorry about that, young Weasley! Minerva thought it would add well to the furniture."

Ron scrambled to his feet and noticed that he had hit a wooden wardrobe, and the headmaster was standing curiously in his portrait. "Sir, you have to listen! Harry told me something! Well, I think he told me something, but I need to tell you about it."

Albus appeared taken back and folded his hands together in attention. "Told you? How is this so?"

"In a dream." Ron described what he had seen in great detail and grew more excited by the moment. "He came to me! It was great to hear and see him in person again. It was just like before."

Dumbledore did not appear entirely enthused. His face bore a sign of great concentration and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "What was it you said he told you about the spell?"

"Well, I'm not sure if it is a spell," Ron replied. "But he said, 'Remitto tu ad laboris'. What did he mean by it? What does it mean?"

The silence was brief but it could have well been minutes. Ron was getting apprehensive by the old man's response.

"Ron, I am afraid that what you have seen was not Harry's soul, as you are lead to believe. As hard to understand as that is, it is the truth."

Ron couldn't comprehend it and the familiar flicker of anger swept through. "What? But I saw him! He was talking to me and answering my questions. He was there!"

"He was not there," Albus repeated heavily. "What you saw was a fixed message that Harry himself invented for a time he knew you would need the assistance. It is called a Flash Memory effect. I am astounded he had even heard about such a thing for it is very rare in these days."

"I don't believe it!" Ron cried as the tears threatened to leak from his eyes. "Why would he do that to me? Why would he show me something false like that?"

A small sigh escaped the man's lips as he responded, "Because it had to be done, Ronald. I can assure you, as you can yourself, that Harry had no intention of hurting anyone but his enemies. He has given us a very powerful and dangerous lead to what must happen next. Remitto tu ad laboris, Ron, means 'I send back you to suffering.' Harry has exceeded my expectation immensely if he had come to understanding this."

"What is it?" Ron asked weakly.

"It is dangerous. This is magic that cannot be meddled in lightly and without knowledge. What Harry has planned for Voldemort is nothing short of torture. It is worse than death and the Dark Lord is all deserving of it. The curse binds a person to eternity within himself in darkness. There is nothing but the madness inside one's own terrified mind where Harry plans to send Voldemort." Dumbledore suddenly grew fierce as a new thought came into his mind, and it frightened Ron to see him. "Ronald, you MUST do this! Harry has planned it so, and you must carry it out for him. He has chosen you! Learn what this curse can do for us and use it! This is the only way, and no matter now many are on our side we can still lose, but not with this. Promise yourself and I that you will carry this dangerous act out. Promise Harry!"

Ron's tears gleamed on his cheeks as he stuttered an answer, "B…but, how? What can I do that Harry can't?"

Dumbledore grew enraged. "It does not matter what he can do! He has given you his trust, Mr. Weasley. He has planned this from the beginning, perhaps even before he became ill. You must truly believe in what you are doing to make it successful or you too will be devoured in the curse. You must use ever fiber in your body to be sure our world is safe."

"But how!" Ron yelled. "How do I do it? I don't understand what Harry wants me to do!"

Albus slowly seated himself in this chair and stared sadly into the floor of the office. "The book in Sirius' library. I recall Harry mentioning something about a useful book he discovered in a secret shelf behind the bookcase. Which one I am unsure of."

"And the name of it?"

"I know nothing of it."

"Oh, that's brilliant," he muttered. "I'm looking for a weapon that none of us know where it is or how it works. Just bloody brilliant!"

"If only he had lived."

Ron turned to face the headmaster again and felt his chest tighten. The old man was defeated and forlorn and Ron had never seen him in such a state.

"If only he had lived, things would be different. They would be very different."

Ron sniffed and wiped his nose on his robe. "But he didn't, Albus. He didn't and that is the truth that hurts the most. I'll do it somehow. Somehow it can be done and Harry would not have died a losing battle."

Dumbledore smiled keenly. "It was never losing, Ronald. He had strong friends like you and that's exactly what a hero is comprised of. You are the Wiglaf of your day, son."

"I'll go now." Ron replied. "Thank you, Sir."

"_Thank you_, Mr. Weasley."

When Ron tumbled back into the room of the inn, both Tonks and Remus pulled him to his feet in a rush. "What did he say?" Remus whispered faintly.

"Well, it wasn't what I had thought completely, but it _was_ from Harry. Dumbledore said something about Flash Memory and Harry used it to send me a message."

Tonks and Remus glanced at each other in surprise. "How did he know about that?" Tonks asked quietly.

"I don't know," Ron went on, "But listen, Harry also devised a strategy to get rid of Voldemort that doesn't involve killing him: Remitto tu ad laboris. Ever hear of it?"

"No," said Remus. "I know the Latin, but the spell?"

"It's a curse, actually. Harry wants to isolate him forever within himself. A psychological deterioration!"

Tonks' mouth dropped. "How did Harry ever think of such a thing? It's a good idea, but is that his style?"

"It's the only way," Lupin replied. "I can see it now. What do we do?"

Ron sighed. "That's where I'm stumped. I have to go to headquarters and find a book there that Harry found the information. In fact, I think I remember him reading something that he didn't want to show me. It was red and really thin. Maybe that's it."

"I don't know, but you sure have me all excited!" Tonks exclaimed in a whisper.

"It could work, but we have to let the Order know," said Lupin. "You return Ron and see what you can dig up. Be sure to tell the others that there is a change of plans, all right?"

"Of course. It will be great to see this come to an end."

Ron rushed to pack his things but stopped as a heavy and rested on his shoulders. "You know, Ron, you're right. It is easier to talk about him when you don't try to forget. It seems that as we talk about Harry he's off somewhere else fighting as we are. Thank you."

He smiled. "Don't mention it. I'll see you two later." And in a whirl of ash he was gone.

The relief in Mrs. Weasley's face failed to represent her feelings. The moment Ron appeared in the kitchen a loud shriek made him jump. "Mum—."

"Oh, why are you back? Did something happen?" She smothered him in motherly kisses and lung crushing hugs.

"Everyone is find, Mum. I just need to find something upstairs. A book."

Mrs. Weasley let go and allowed him to pass toward the door. "Would you like me to help you, dear? I have nothing else to do."

"Well," he said hesitantly, "I think I'll just do it myself. I need time to think." Yes, that is what he needed. More thinking. Ron swore that if Harry did as much thinking as he was doing now he was amazed at how his head hadn't been blown of entirely.

He didn't want to let the girls be aware of his presence in the house so he quickly stole away to the study in Grimmuald Place and began searching for the image of the red book Harry had months before. What sort of book would have that sort of curse? Surely if it were sold wouldn't everyone be sending people to their own Hell for years?

Ron pulled out a red book but the title "Benign Water Plants of the East Indies" didn't appear very intimidating to him at all. "Where the hell is it?" Dust went up in puffs and made him sneeze and soon enough his eyes couldn't handle the pressure. "Good grief." What was doing? He was searching for a book he didn't know and trying to solve a curse he didn't even know existed. And he was supposed to use it! "Harry surely must have been mental," he muttered as he crawled on his hands and knees over the dust.

A shadow passed the hallway and Ron stood up to see Hermione stand in the doorway with a shocked expression on her face. "Ron? What are you doing here?"

"Looking for something." He replied shortly as he maneuvered past a chair to get to the next bookcase.

"What's the name? Maybe I can help. I've been in here many times."

Ron muttered under his breath, "I'm sure you have," and shrugged. "I don't know the name, but the one I think I need is red and small. Have fun."

Hermione's face went from concerned to frightened in a matter of seconds and she opened her mouth without saying a word. Ron watched her for a moment in confusion. Did he say something wrong? "Er, Hermione?"

"W..what do you want that book for?" she replied nervously.

Ron suddenly understood. She knew. She knew everything and never once did she tell him. He was beyond angry. "Spit it out, Hermione. I don't have time for this. You know what I need, how? Were you spying on Harry or what?"

"He told me," Hermione said bluntly. Ron's eyes flew open in surprise. "From the very beginning he wanted me to help him. It was that night he gave us the notes and left. He wanted me to look for information in this study and help he and Lupin. He even wrote me on Christmas."

"What?" he asked in shock. "The two of you were talking the whole time while Ginny and I were out of our minds with worry? And you just sat there knowing he was okay?"

Hermione shook her head. "Most of the time I was in your position. He never told me where he was or what was going on. He just had me give him information and I had to guess. Can you imagine how tormented I was? To think of one terrible idea to the next? When he did return, he showed me that book, Ron. I knew what he was going to do and told me not to tell. 'It's very important,' he said. When he died I knew he would pass it on to you and I was so worried. Harry knew what had to be done and you had no idea at all. I'll give you the book."

She vanished out of the doorway in a flash leaving Ron to remain fixed with a furious face. He felt so used. He felt like Harry had all these years, but why was he passing it on to him? And his best friend had known the whole time! When he had explained his fears to her she already had the answers and that was what angered him the most.

Hermione came running in only a minute later and Ginny was at her tail. The book was covered in gold writing on the cover in Celtic knots but it had no title at all. It could have easily passed as a children's book.

"Here it is. What you want is all in here, every page. I've read it countless times so if you want me to help you I will. You can do it, Ron."

Ginny looked perplexed and said, "What's going on? I thought you were supposed to be with Lupin."

"I had to get this and now I'm leaving," said Ron as he grabbed the book from Hermione's hands. He hugged his sister and nodded to Hermione. "Thanks, but next time I don't want to hear anything else about secrets. Personally I have had enough of them." Ron left the room and said goodbye to his mother once again. The end was coming soon and the weapon was in his hands.

**Ha! You thought Harry's soul was talking to him, didn't you! J/K anyway, finally uploaded this chapter. I've got a new computer and it doesn't take floppy discs so it is a little harder to do this. I'm on the old computer on the floor finishing this chapter lol. Please R&R and if you want to add any suggestions my ears are open.**


	17. AUTHOR NOTE

AUTHOR NOTE!

**SORRY THIS IS TAKING FOREVER TO UPDATE. I'M WORKING NOW PRETTY MUCH ALL DAY AND I DON'T HAVE TIME TO TYPE IT. WHEN I DO I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT, WHICH IS THE PART I TAKE BLAME FOR! LOL, BUT PLEASE KEEP READING OR PUT THIS STORY ON AN ALERT TO LET YOU KNOW WHEN I HAVE UPLOADED A NEW CHAPTER. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE!**


	18. The First Battle

The First Battle

**Okay, here we have some more action going on. Thank you for those who have reviewed and stayed with me this entire time.This chapter is for Hermion-and-Ron-forever-together...thank you!  
**

Ron couldn't believe what he had to do. He couldn't believe how much trust Harry had in him and why he chose him for this weapon. Ron read the book word for word and then again to make sure what he had taken in was what was there. It was. Tonks and Remus sat silent in the room of the inn and said nothing as he laid on the bed with his eyes transfixed to the ceiling.

"I don't understand how I am going to do this, you guys. I don't want to risk being sucked in with Voldemort too or have it backfire and take me instead. It said it was an easy mistake. What was Harry thinking? He was going to do this too and how did he feel about it?"

"Just don't worry about it," said Remus. "When it is being performed don't get alarmed and try to draw back. That might weaken the curse and increase your chance of following Voldemort."

Ron nodded. "At least the curse itself is simple, which is the strange part of this whole ordeal." Yes it was easy. All he had to do was focus on the Dark Lord and say the Latin curse followed by Voldemort's name as Voldemorte. The only part that proved a difficulty was being able to concentrate and not break the contact. Another issue was having the Dark Lord all to himself and not getting killed in the process. The curse doesn't immobilize him, and that is where the Order comes in to try and hold Voldemort back. Easier said than done, in Ron's opinion.

"Snape told us this morning that if we do it today we'd have a better chance at getting to the heart of the manor. Many of the Death Eaters are out on orders trying to get some of the creatures on their side. Do you think we are ready?"

Ron glanced up at Remus and nodded. It had been a week since the book was discovered and surprisingly, he felt a small boost of confidence. That night he had another dream of Harry, not as vivid as the first, but just a reminder that he still existed. This brought him a lot of hope.

"How many did you say were going to show up?" asked Tonks. "What did Moody tell you?"

"He said around thirty Aurors."

Tonks scoffed and gave a mirthless laugh. "Yeah, that will do us good. Thirty of us against thirty of them with the most powerful Dark Lord of our time seated on their side. This will go swell."

Remus didn't say anything in response and Ron felt sorry for the man. Ever since Harry had gone he seemed defeated and reckless. It was almost as if he didn't care about what happened to anybody anymore.

"Are we going now?" Ron wondered out loud, hoping to add some conversation to the silence. "Are the others near?"

"Fifteen minutes," Lupin replied heavily. Ron didn't know how long fifteen minutes really was until then. The clock on the wall ticked loudly in the quiet of the room and the faint sound of someone dragging furniture in separate rooms echoed through the walls. Ron found himself starting to get anxious.

Suddenly there was a loud pop and the last person Ron ever wanted to see stood among them in the room. "It's clear enough for you to go now," he said grimly.

"Right then, Severus. Moody is prepared in the woods with the others. Are you absolutely certain that Ron could make it through the manor to reach Voldemort in time?" Remus answered.

Snape did not even glance at Ron as he replied, "I will take him myself. I know the way through the manor more than anyone."

A sudden flare of anger swept through Ron as he thought of himself working alone with Snape, who had murdered Dumbledore and gave them hell at Hogwarts. How could Remus and Tonks allow this? No one objected at all to what Snape had said, and Ron knew he was being subjected to something he would have to simply deal with until the battle was over.

"I'll sign us out with the man at the desk. We don't want him calling the Muggle authorities in a Wizard battle." Tonks said irately, thinking the very same as Ron. "You guys can go and I will meet you there."

Ron retreated to the end of the room to gather his things as she left knowing that the real reason Tonks said that was to escape any contact with Snape.

"Weasley," the greasy git barked, "We are leaving first. I can get us into the manor before the Ministry attacks. Do what I tell you and we will not have any problems. Understand?"

"Whatever." He replied irritably. He really wished he didn't have to do this.

Remus lowered his head sadly and muttered to Ron, "Just do your best. Harry would not have trusted you if he didn't think you could do it."

Ron nodded and in the corner of his eye he saw Snape roll his eyes and sigh. "I will."

Together he and the ex-potions master Disappearated from the inn and appeared outdoors on the outskirts of the town where close by they could see the roof of the manor peeking about the foliage of the trees. It seemed that the house was dead with no life to it at all, inside and out.

Snape was the first to speak. "The Aurors are in the woods to our left. They can see us right now, but when we go inside we have ten minutes to make it to where the Dark Lord is before they ambush and set an alarm. Once that is done you have him all to yourself. Moody, Tonks, Remus, and Kinglsey will assist you."

"And what will you be doing?" Ron asked coldly.

Severus smirked. "I will be working. I still have a reputation to keep here, Weasley, and the Aurors know this."

"How do you know if they won't try to kill you instead of another?"

Snape pushed Ron ahead and forced him to walk. "That doesn't concern you. What you need to worry about is how you're going to pick up Potter's pathetic talent and survive fighting the Dark Lord."

They swiftly entered the trees and scampered behind the manor to where the storm cellar protruded from the ground. It was locked, but Snape flicked his wand and the lock came undone in an instant. When Ron opened the door he saw nothing but blackness below and for a moment he hesitated.

"Would you hurry it up, Weasley?" Snape hissed. "Go down!"

Muttering obscenities, Ron obeyed and stumbled down the stairs. Below he could smell the musty stench of damp and wood. Nothing could be seen, but he was sure that he had seen an outline of Muggle machines and wooden crates. Severus closed the doors slowly and lit up his wand. The room shone bright blue and Ron could see that the cellar had been used for storage by Muggles.

"How did Voldemort get this house? It has Muggle things in here."

"What do you think happened? They're dead."

Ron fought the urge to tell Snape to shut up and followed him up the creaky steps to the main floor. Severus opened the door slowly and peered around it. "We must whisper now. Anyone can be wandering these halls, do you understand?"

He nodded quickly and pulled out his wand. He was ready. He was ready to show Harry what he was made out of, even if that meant dealing with Snape's abuse. All of the windows were covered with heavy drapes and the only way they could see anything was with Severus' wand. "Won't they see us with that?"

The man shook his head. "This is how everyone gets around the manor. There are people patrolling but it isn't for security. If you aren't given a job you have nothing to do. Here." Snape fished around his robes and pulled out something that made Ron seethe.

"Where did you get that? Why do you have it?"

"Would you shut your mouth!" Snape hissed again. He handed Harry's invisibility cloak over to him and ordered him to put it on. "Remus had your mother retrieve it for you to use. Potter doesn't need it any longer."

Ron was so furious his hands trembled as he fumbled to put the cloak over him. It smelled like Harry's trunk and that familiar scent made his heart sink low. How soon would it fade away? He remembered how back in their first year they used this same cloak to escape Filch and his cat. Hermione had been with them and Ron smiled knowing how innocent they were then. Intrigued by curiosity they did almost anything.

Ron followed Snape silently wishing he could ditch the man and explore the place himself, but he knew that in order to do what must be done, he would have to deal with it until then. The carpeted stairs made soft sounds as they walked up to the second floor. Ron saw picture frames of the Muggle family that owned the manor before and felt himself cringe at the thought of this happy family dead. There were no young children, but all the same, none of them deserved it at all.

Snape led him through a maze of hallways and Ron felt himself tingle in fear and anticipation. This was it! Soon he would be battling the fiercest wizard in the world and try to save the Wizarding world. He didn't feel cocky at all. He felt discouraged almost at once. HE was supposed to do it? The very thought of it chilled him.

Ron almost bumped into Severus when the man froze suddenly, and he saw why. Bellatrix Lestrange was weeping and screaming in the entrance of a large hall, half the size of a futbol field. "Master, please! I am your most loyal servant! I would never lie to you about anything at all."

Ron trembled at the sound of the Dark Lord's voice as he responded to her pitiful act. "You tell me this Bella, but it seems to me that you are using this false lie in order to end your own grudge against a fellow Death Eater. You have suspicions, but no proof."

"But Master! Have you not once thought of all the chances he had to kill him? That old fool could have distorted his thoughts for the whole sixteen years he had worked for him!"

Ron wanted to pull back but he was amazed to see Snape calmly interfere. "Have I not explained that to you, dear Bellatrix?"

Ron could see him now. The Dark Lord was sitting on an elegant chair gazing menacingly at the poor woman who was pleading with him. At the presence of Severus, his demeanor softened at once to a proud smirk. "Severus, good of you to come. It seems here this woman has a deep loathing for you. I cannot have that in my company without distinct proof. I have listened to your story, Severus, and I trust you. I know how that old fool Dumbledore had worked. He may give anyone pardon, but he keeps a well guarded eye. My entire school years were watched closely by him, even when he claimed me to be his favorite. Bella, you disappoint me greatly. This has been your last stand."

"NO! Master, I love you! I will do anything for you! Without you my life will mean nothing at all." The woman prostrated herself and wept, but Ron found no sorrow for her. With all that she had done to hurt Harry and Neville, he could not find any sympathy at all.

"Master," Snape replied calmly. "I have come with urgent news. Aurors have been seen heading in this direction. They will be here at any moment. I have come to warn you."

Voldemort smiled pleasantly. "You see, Bella, this is the icon of a true Death Eater. I have no more use for you." Ron didn't look away in fear as the woman cringed and screamed as the green curse sped toward her and ripped the life away. He was used to death now and wanted to harden himself. He tried to stop the shaking in his legs, but he was frightened. That he could not ignore.

"Severus, the others are not here. I must call them immediately. I commend you highly for your service. I never once doubted you."

Snape bowed low and motioned to Ron to enter the room. "I am pleased by your words, sir. I shall get everyone in order."

Ron saw the signal and quickly hid himself behind a large dining room table. The tablecloth hung low enough to hide him, but Ron wasn't taking the chance of blowing his cover just yet. He was petrified to be in the same room as Voldemort and wondered if this was how terrified Harry felt. 'Harry, help me!' he pleaded silently.

The Dark Lord was walking now and Ron felt his stomach do a summersault when he realized it was in his direction. Had he sensed his fear? Was he performing Occlumency on him and sniffing him out like a rat? Ron watched the wizard's feet under the table and stepped backwards slowly around the table. He tried to make sure his breathing wasn't loud. He was relieved to see the feet pause at the window. Ron lowered his head in relief and waited for the sound of spells and curses to mark his cue. He was ready! He went over the curse in his head and tried his best to calm himself down. He would have to concentrate with all his strength to perform it.

"His mind has been empty for some time now," Voldemort said aloud to himself. Ron paused to hear him and wondered what he was talking about. "He would not have been able to master it, although Severus claims he has. I know his mind inside and out, forwards and backwards and there was no indication. So, my little friend, has Harry Potter died before I could reach him?"

Ron's heart skipped a beat and lodged itself in his throat. His fear picked up drastically as he realized who the Dark Lord was talking to. He was speaking directly to him! The footsteps moved toward him and the table above Ron was turned over as plates and glasses crashed to the ground.

"DO YOU SEE ME AS A FOOL! YOU THINK I CANNOT FALL FOR AN INVISIBILITY TRICK WITH MY POWER?"

Ron stumbled backward and tried to run, but Voldemort grabbed hold of the cloak and ripped it off of him. "All this time I had been suspecting and here is the proof! No one but Potter would dare enter the same room as me! That fool Severus underestimated me, and believe me, Mr. Weasley, he will end up like Bellatrix along with you!"

Ron dug for his wand and prepared to fight him, but Voldemort was much faster. "EXPELLIARMUS!" Ron's wand flew out of his hand and into Voldemort's, leaving him completely vulnerable. "Now, do you wish for me to show you the mercy I gave to Harry Potter? Is he dead?"

"What's it to you?" Ron managed to shout. He wished he hadn't. Voldemort raised his wand and yelled, "CRUCIO!" He collapsed onto the ground in pain, screaming and twisting. He was released quickly and Voldemort shouted at him, "How did he die! I was supposed to kill him! Who did it instead of me, speak up!"

Ron rolled onto his knees and glared up at him, "When Lucius Malfoy shoved him over a cliff into a frozen lake. He was weakened after it and became very ill from the water and the weather. Because of your stupid Death Eaters we didn't have anything to help him with and he died. Blame them!"

A smirk stretched across the Dark Lord's face and he chuckled softly. "After all he survived through he dies of that. How typical. Potter must not have been as strong as everyone thought. He was their hero and their idol and look how he died!"

"SHUT UP!" Ron screamed, blinded by rage.

The Dark Lord only laughed harder. "You cared for him, didn't you? Felt like a brother, did he not? While all of you revered him and set him up on a pedestal to do your bidding he was the person under the pressure with no one to help him. You call yourself his friend? It is amazing how similar Potter and I were, Weasley. We both have extraordinary powers that developed at a young age, we have a tendency to resort to the Dark Arts, and he had my soul. That was the first time I actually noticed something was happening. He was no longer accessible. I fixed that problem, however, but shortly after that he disappeared again."

"If you idolized him so much why did you want to kill him?"

"I respected him, Weasley, not idolized. When you meet powerful wizards you learn to honor their successes, but when their ideals conflict with yours, you have an enemy. I respected Dumbledore highly, but he challenged me from the beginning and I sought to carry that challenge out. Potter knew what he was doing in the end. That was when, for a split second, I began to fear his power. As a young child in Hogwarts he was too innocent with it, but he learned to use and manage them."

Voldemort held his arms out and spun around the corner of the room smiling. "And now, he is gone! I have no one to fear and no one to respect. As much as I wanted to be the one to see Harry Potter suffer and die at my own hands, he is dead. But now, the only person I have yet to challenge…is you."

Ron suppressed a gulp and stood up defiantly. He would show him what he could do. It may not be much, but he had something. Voldemort tossed his wand to him and stepped backward to produce a space for dueling. "To start off a good duel as Potter and I have done, we need to bow to one another. Take your bow."

Ron didn't want to. He needed time. When were the others going to come and help him? There was no possible way for him to somehow stun the man and then do it. He couldn't even lay a finger on him. Hesitantly, he bowed and scowled at the grin on Voldemort's face.

"Good. I had tried to force Potter to do that. Now, let us see how Harry Potter's best friend manages against the Dark Lord!"

Ron didn't know what to do. All he was supposed to use was the curse, not fight with anything else. He was a poor dueler and he had to think hard to remember any spell, and he had a feeling Voldemort was aware of this.

"EXPELLIARMUS!" he shouted, trying to think of ANY spell that came to mind. He knew Harry had been right. Throwing spells around in Defense Against the Dark Arts was one thing, but trying to remember them when you're in the danger of dying was difficult.

Voldemort blocked it and the spell sent Ron flying backward. "Typical schoolboy charms! Use your head, boy. Learn to be like your dear friend Harry. He could think on his feet. Challenge me!"

Ron stood up quickly and tried to think of what he could do. What would Harry do in this situation? He was frightened and against the odds, but there just had to be something. He needed to stall him. He needed to stay alive long enough to finish the curse.

He decided to talk. "Harry has still beaten you. He has destroyed your Horcruxes and left you mortal. All that anyone needs to do is kill you. Whether by me or someone else you will be killed, Tom, and then there will be nothing you can do about it."

Voldemort snarled and fired the Cruciatus, but Ron was ready. "PROTEGO!" Voldemort dodged it and snarled again. "You think that it will be that easy?"

Ron saw him raise his wand, and without saying a word a spell was cast, leaving Ron in confusion. It struck him on the shoulder, and almost at once he felt an ice cold, tingling feeling spread throughout his chest and arm. It was slow moving and Ron was worried.

Voldemort laughed. "Soon your body will go numb. Now what will you do?"

The fear escaladed in Ron's chest. What will he do now? Harry always managed to escape, but it wasn't usually because of spells…it was strategy. It was using the objects around him to his advantage. Ron knew strategy through chess, but there weren't any places he could move to be safe. This would be a battle in check the entire game.

"DIFFINDO!" Ron pointed his wand at the ceiling where a chandelier swayed and cut if off its support. Voldemort narrowly dodged it, leaving him stumbling and fully unaware. Ron raised his wand again and shouted the curse that he never expected to use. "SECTUMSEMPRA!" He couldn't really see anything after the crashes that sent dust and debris through the air, but he heard something that was music to his ears: A scream. The Dark Lord rose from the dust clutching his shoulder with blood dribbling off his wound and cloak. His face had paled immensely, and Ron could see, with delight, that Voldemort was weakened.

His happiness was short lived. The Dark Lord took his wand and brushed it across the wound, healing it instantly. He was weak from the loss of blood, but Ron knew that it was the only thing he could count on.

Voldemort walked toward him, clapping slowly. "Well done, well done! It seems as if you learned something from Potter. You will also learn that I do not go down easily."

Ron knew he was screwed from the beginning. Why on earth did Harry trust him? He wasn't good at anything, Hermione was. Harry was, but not him!

"CRUCIO!" Ron fell to the floor again screaming and wishing it all would end. Voldemort sent him crashing into the upturned table and laughed wickedly. Ron moaned on the ground as he felt blood seeping down his body from the glass and the splinters in the wood. His entire body was on fire with pain.

"You're a disgrace to him, Weasley. Harry looks upon you know in shame. What have you really come here to do? What is so important that Severus had to smuggle you in here alone with me? I know the Aurors are here, I can hear them battling inside this manor. What significance do you hold as a pathetic seventeen year old school boy?"

Ron struggled to rise from the rubble but the numbing was taking effect. "To kill you,"

Voldemort laughed softly and glee lit his red eyes bright. "Is that the reason? I have yet to be intimidated."

Ron felt betrayed. The Aurors were not coming and he was now left to deal with his abuse and curses. He would have to step up himself.

"You have a bad disposition to underestimate people. You doubted the strength of an ancient magic by trying to kill Harry as a baby. You've doubted him and he had thwarted you every time. You dispose of people like Bellatrix because you doubt her, and now you are doing the same for me. You should realize by now, Voldemort, that power comes from many sources, not just talent."

"Who are you to lecture me?" Voldemort roared. "I can crush you with my bare hands, and I will do so this very instant!"

Ron couldn't move his left arm and it was getting difficult to breath. He wasn't prepared for what Voldemort was going to do. In an instant he vanished, leaving Ron to sit alone in the hall, waiting and panicking. At once he saw in front of him the Dark Lord grinning with spite, and he tried to run without success. Voldemort grabbed him by the throat and shoved him against the wall. Ron kicked and struggled but the man was too strong. Voldemort watched him choke and turn red, and he laughed in his ear. "Not so proud now, are you?"

Ron squeezed his eyes shut and let out a loud scream. At once, to his surprise, Voldemort shouted in pain and released him. He moved away holding out his burning hands and growling in rage. Ron didn't know what had happened. He could see a trace of some kind of fear glistening in the eyes of his enemy, and for a brief moment it gave him hope.

Voldemort studied his hands and felt the receding pain that burned at his flesh. He had felt this before. A sudden understanding came to the Dark Lord that left him uneasy. "He has chosen you for something. Potter gave you the protection he mother had given to him, what was the reason? What did he have planned for you and I?"

"For you to die," Ron stated matter-of-factly, relishing the fear he was creating inside his enemy. "I could lose myself in the process, but what's a few people, right? Isn't that what you believe, Tom?"

Voldemort was seething. Ron was watching him carefully to see where the Dark Lord would strike next, but he seemed uncertain. It astounded Ron that Voldemort was so unsure of what to do. The spell put on him made him shaky and he was forced to lean against the wall as if all the energy had drained from him. He worried that Voldemort would kill him now and he would never be able to save everyone, but at least he would see Harry again.

The doors burst open with an enormous crash and both he and Voldemort cringed at the sound. Death Eaters were screaming in fear and agony, stepping over one another as they tried to escape the clutches of the Aurors that had at last made it. Ron's hope soared. He couldn't get up, but he was enjoying Voldemort's rage as he ran to the group. "FOOLS! FIGHT THEM!"

Remus grabbed Ron by the shoulder and shook him. "Are you all right? Can you do the curse?"

"He used a spell that is numbing me. I can't even use my wand arm anymore."

Lupin's eyes widened in shock and mild disappointment and Ron felt the guilt start to boil over as it had before. "I don't know how to help you now. We will have to do it when we have another chance." Why did he have to sound impatient?

"I'm sorry, Remus!" Ron pleaded as tears grew in his eyes. "I didn't mean to shame Harry or mess this up. He caught me here, and I have been fighting him ever since I got in. No one came…I didn't know what to do."

Someone cursed loudly and exclaimed, "HE'S GONE! YOU-KNOW-WHO VANISHED!"

It was true. The Dark Lord was nowhere to be found and the remaining Death Eaters were surrendering, almost begging to be taken away.

Ron was taken to St. Mungo's and was treated immediately. The numbing had gone and his cuts were only faint scars that reminded him of his first battle with Voldemort that embarrassed and shamed him. He didn't do what he was supposed to and everyone had to wait so they could prepare for it again. They knew now that the invisibility cloak would be of no help, but Ron could sense disappointment from the members of the Order. It wasn't just his fault! He knew that, but he knew that he had come for a reason and it was not finished. Voldemort's verbal abuse dragged him down and he couldn't bear to look anyone in the eye. The person who made it worse than anyone was Snape.

"All you did was let him hit you. Potter would have finished the job, but of course, he isn't any better."

Ron turned over in the bed of the hospital and glared at the wall as he tried to ignore him, but Snape was having his fun. "Potter was foolish from the beginning and look how he ended up. He had a chance to leave all this but he had to be stupid like his father and try to get the glory of revenge. How could he have thought you would be any different?"

"Don't talk about Harry like that," Ron muttered. "He had more heart than you ever will."

He heard Snape scoff behind him. "And that's why he's dead."

Ron picked up the knife from lunch and threw it, not even caring if it hit its target or not. He couldn't see anything from the tears that blinded his vision.

HOORAY! I FINISHED THIS ONE. THE END IS FAST APPROACHING SO STAY TUNED!


	19. Confrontation

**Confrontations**

**I'm so so so so so so sorry that I am behind, but now that school is starting I may have more time to write. Thank you for reading!**

"You did well, Ron," Hermione said softly at his bedside in the hospital. "Harry wouldn't have been angry at all. He understood what it was like to stand in your place."

Ron stared, almost pouting at his blankets. "It wasn't enough. I wasn't even close. How am I supposed to do this, Hermione? I've disappointed the Order and now I have to live with this humiliation."

"Harry suffered too, Ron, just remember that."

He sighed heavily in annoyance and played with a loose string on the bed. "What are they saying about it? The others I mean."

Hermione thought a moment. "They aren't really angry at you. More about the situation in general. Moody raves on and on about how Snape is a lying git and should be watched carefully. He thinks that he knew all along that Voldemort could see through an invisibility cloak. You Mum is just happy you're alive and Remus doesn't say anything, as usual."

"What about Ginny?"

A sigh escaped Hermione's lips. "What do you expect her to say, Ron?"

"I don't know! Is she upset that it didn't work, happy I'm back, indifferent? What is going on with her? She hasn't even looked at me."

"Ginny has been like that ever since he died. I don't think she is even here in the head anymore. I'm always catching her looking at our photo albums and reading Harry's letters from all the years, and I don't think she really cares what else happens during the war."

Ron felt a sudden pang of sorrow that forced a hard lump to rise in his throat. Why did everything have to be revolving around Harry dying? Why did Voldemort have to compare him to his friend, and why was he even doing all of this if he didn't have the will or the strength? He wished right now that everything would be a dream and that he would awake to Harry beating him with a pillow and telling him to stop snoring, rise and shine, your mother has breakfast. Ron hated thinking about all the times they had as friends, the time they fought, the time he wanted Harry to kill him as he wore the frilly, disgusting dress robe to the Yule Ball. And he also remembered the empty feeling he felt when Harry was troubled and worn from so many things. It was like watching him slowly die and there was nothing he could do.

"Ron," whispered Hermione, "What's wrong?"

He was breathing heavily, trying not to break into sobs, but he couldn't hold it back. "I miss him, Mione."

He felt her wrap him in a warm embrace and rock him like a child. She said nothing and let him weep for everything that wasn't fair, real or existent. He cried for all the things that he should have cried about in the past years and about how he wanted his best friend back; the one who was always there, always beside him, who now existed only in his memory.

All the rage seemed to escape him and he couldn't restrain the monster that reared inside him. Ron screamed, shoved Hermione away and in one swipe of his arm he overturned the table next to him and sent its contents rolling across the floor. "Fucking war! Goddamn Voldemort and his Death Eaters, they can all go to Hell! They have taken away too much and what have they got? Victories and luxury! What do we have? What do I have? A shite army and friends lost. It's not bloody fair!"

Hermione stood and kept her distance. She pleaded with him, "Ron, please calm down. I know it hurts, I feel it to. For too long I have had to feel it and still I can't numb it with anything. Nothing can make me forget seeing Harry lying dead, all cold and gray on the ground. I can't erase the image of the way his eyes seem to grow dull and lifeless because he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. And Ron, nothing can stop me from seeing you suffer with something you can't control."

Ron paced the room and whimpered softly; loathing his existence and the situation he was in.

"You can't change the past, Ron," she was crying now with tears the size of pearls dripping down her face. "I want him back so much. You have no idea. I want our innocence back and the peace we had together. It hurts so much but we have no choice! We MUST push ourselves through it, Ron. That's all we can do."

"But what if it's not enough?" He shouted. "What do we do? Do you have an answer to that like you have an answer for everything?"

His words stung her but she forced her voice to remain soft. "Then we have done all that we could. But it is not up to any of us to determine when we have accepted defeat."

Ron couldn't summon the strength to argue with her. What was the use? He knew she was right; he just didn't want to accept the difficulty that would arise from it.

"I want to make things right again," he whispered. "The way it was before."

A small smile came to Hermione. "Then you try it again."

Ginny noticed a change in her brother the moment he returned to Grimmuald Place. When she had first seen him he was beaten down, depressed and soulless. He had a new fire to him and it made the dullness inside her ease away for a moment. What was he thinking? She herself wanted to stop her sorrow. Enough was enough but it was easier said than done. How many more times would she cry herself to sleep wishing she could have what she lost. Everyone had alienated themselves and forgot that they needed to pull together and get through it. But she didn't want to. Ginny knew she had been selfish and only wanted to grieve alone with Harry to herself and the fate of the world dying with her. Wither her bother's new energy Ginny wanted to escape her suffocation and support him. She wanted to appreciate what she had left.

"I'm not forgetting you, Harry," she whispered to a photograph of his smiling face. "I'm just imagining you are always beside me."

The table during dinner was solemn and Ron was growing uncomfortable. His mother tried unsuccessfully to liven the mood but everyone sat silently and only soft chewing could be heard. He didn't want to see this on his first night home.

The door suddenly opened and a cheery voice caught their attention. "What's for dinner, Mum? I'm starving!"

"Ginny?" Mrs. Weasley asked in surprise. "What brings you down? I haven't seen you in here in weeks."

"I fancied a good meal for once," she smiled brightly and everyone was entranced with her behavior. "And I'm finished being upset. I think I can move on now. I feel loads better."

Mr. Weasley laughed. "We can see that. Good for you, Ginny."

Her mother beamed at the glow her daughter finally regained and began fixing her plate.

"What made you so happy?"

Ginny turned to her brother and shrugged. "I dunno. You I guess. You've changed in a good way since the hospital and it gave me hope that maybe things will be all right. I made my peace and everything and I think I can keep moving. And I'm not angry with you anymore, Ron. I just didn't understand."

If it had just been the two of them Ron would have squeezed his sister in a fierce hug of gratitude. His heart melted away with relief and for the first time in months, he saw a smile on Ginny's face.

He hadn't known a better dinner in a long while. The rest of the Order arrived late, as usual, but with everyone present at the table, Ron felt a refreshed beginning. A smile grazed his face as he saw his mother finger the silver locket around her neck lovingly, with a content smile that warmed her face. She had put Harry's picture inside, and Ron was glad to see her pleased again.

**I know this is short but bear with me…it is almost the end…what will happen? Stay tuned…Ron could die…he could live…Voldemort could rule, he could be defeated…I DON'T KNOW! heheheh**


	20. Author Note 2

**Yes, it's ANOTHER author note. On this Word document I have 100 pages exactly, the longest story I have ever done, and I STILL have to finish. I pull it up, read some of it to get back into the swing of it, then I blank out and have absolutely no idea what to put next. I can't make it blend just right. I WILL finish it however, because we all know how irritating it is to come across a story made years ago and it isn't done yet. Have to go to my college now, so I have to go, but I thank you all so much for still reading this story and I promise I won't abandon it. Unless I die or something but you wouldn't know that! **


	21. What does it mean?

**The first chapter in months…I know LOL. I've been both busy and lazy. My bad.**

**He's Ready**

Ron didn't have time at all to relax when he came home from the hospital. The Order, excited with ideas, met with him after dinner to explain the details.

"Ron, what happened before was something to learn from," said Remus. "We now know that invisibility will be no trick, nor will Severus work at all. What we need to do now is go on the offensive again."

Moody growled across the table. "I say we bombard the lot and get it over with."

Ron rolled his eyes and Tonks did the same. Bitter as he was, Moody was still a puzzle when it came to fighting the dark arts. Remus ignored him as well.

"You will have to do this on your own still, Ron, we cannot help you with that curse. Harry designed this plan only for you, so it must be able to work somehow."

He felt the dread burn inside his chest, but Ron shoved it off. He had to get accustomed to discomfort now. There were no more excuses. The Order began to discuss a plan as his mind tuned them out. There had to be something that Harry wanted him to do…something that he could figure out. If Harry had given him dreams to help him, was he also hiding any indication that would lead to the downfall of Lord Voldemort? He had the curse, what else was needed? Where was he to go?

Remus' voice came back slowly as Ron realized where he was… "…he has less followers now. Protection would be weak, but he would also realize this."

"The Dark Lord uses evil spells and enchantments," Moody grumbled to him. "What he uses needs to be understood by us first. You can't fight Inferi will simple defense tactics."

"Would he really use that for defense?" Ron asked, sickened at the thought.

Moody laughed, but became serious at once. "He loves psychological weapons as well, young Weasley. You're fortunate you and Lupin got rid of Potter or he could have used him as Inferi."

Ron couldn't believe what he heard…there was a pause…so small, yet noticed, and Ron exploded in anger. "TAKE THAT BACK!"

"Ron, NO!"

He had three people restrain him from attacking the crippled Mad-Eye: Remus, Tonks, and his father, whom he hadn't noticed was in the room. He didn't care. Rage fueled his blood and terrible thoughts came to him thinking about Harry like a zombie trying to kill him.

"That was uncalled for, Alastor!" Tonks screeched, giving the man a shove. "You fail to remember it has barely been a month since it happened. Open your eyes!"

"Fools, the lot of you!" the man roared. "You think sensitivity will gain you a victory?" He glared especially at Ron. "Do you think you will lose only one of your closest brothers? NO! None of you understand Potter in the manner that I do! He died knowing he would. Potter fought, not for fame or for hatred, but he did it because it had to be done. And here you are, still moping around. You can't even treat his sacrifice with dignity!"

"What about you talking like that?" Ron retorted, steam blowing from his bright red ears. "Always thinking the worst of every situation, treating Harry's memory like dirt. What friend and admirer are you?"

Ron turned to Lupin for a word, or even a reaction. The man did nothing but glance with a blank stare to the ground.

"Weasley, you know nothing yet. One day you will understand why accepting the most terrible truth is a comfort."

Ron seethed. "I hate all of you! And I hate you, Remus!" The man appeared startled and confused. "I'll never forget that night we 'got rid' of him. Never!"

"W..what did I do?"

"You don't even realize it! He was alive that day…he was our friend, but it changed the moment he died for you. When we got to the place to burn him you dropped him. Just DROPPED HIM!!!!" Ron couldn't cry anymore. He was too numb. "What was he to you after that, because he was still my friend!"

Ron wanted to run like his heart told him to. 'Escape to your room,' it said. 'Flee from this pain.' But he didn't. He stared Lupin down for an answer, and the man's face refused to show any more emotion than it already had.

"He...," Remus whispered painfully. "He just didn't feel real to me, and it hurt me too much to think that. So I let him go in disgust to myself. Why did he not feel real? Why?"

He broke down, and Ron felt his anger shrivel into guilt. Tonks embraced the broken man and led him out. Ron could say nothing and neither could Moody. Back to the beginning.

Ron couldn't sleep much that night. He laid on his side staring out the window and watching the light of the moon haunt Harry's empty bed. Something must be wrong with what they were doing. All the Horcuxes were gone, what more did they need to do? Voldemort still seemed to have his powers, weakened or not, so what did Harry want Ron to do? The curse, that was obvious, but there just had to be something else. Something that Ron was missing. Voldemort's weakness was lust for greatness, valuable items and pride. It seemed as if the only way to get rid of the Dark Lord was to have him destroy himself, not a curse. Ron pondered as hard as his weariness allowed him. He drifted in and out of sleep…and he had a dream again.

He was at Hogwarts in front of a door where only he could see. The hallways were empty and silent without a soul in sight. He acknowledged none of this. The door seemed to draw him in, coax his curiosity to its peak, and Ron had no sense of danger at all. He felt an odd gesture of peace and excitement standing where he was, and he knew that he had to find out what was behind this secret passage no one could see. Ron's hand gently grabbed the handle and twisted with careful movements so he wouldn't make a sound. His excitement suspended higher, eager to discover a secret and claim it his! Nothing crossed his mind to think he was in possible danger, or if what he found would bring him happiness. Ron just did it without thinking. He gasped suddenly at what he saw, and for a moment, he was about to flee. In front of him stood an exact replica of himself, copying his actions like a shadow or a mirror.

"W..who are you?" Ron. The other Ron did not have a voice, but he mouthed the words just as he had. What was going on? The figure slowly faded and what replaced it was a confusion of shapes and faces. Ron swore he caught a glimpse of Harry's smiling face and himself with the same grin. It was mind boggling and he could not understand. Ron slammed the door at once, and as he did so, he awoke from this nightmare and sat up in an instant. Why must he always dream of him? But was it a dream? This was a different feeling…one that he never felt in a regular dream. Then it struck him! Ron gripped his blankets in the dark and thought, "Is this the sign I was looking for?"

What did it mean? He saw himself like a reflection but then the mass of faces confused him…what would Harry try to show him with that? Ron had no choice. He had to speak to Hermione, she was the only one who could help him now.

The clock in the hallway said it was four in the morning, but Ron didn't care. He entered the girl's room and shook Hermione awake at once.

"Ron!" she hissed, fear clouding her eyes. "What's happening?"

"Nothing bad, I just need your help."

"Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

Ron grew impatient. "Just come into my room. Leave Ginny asleep."

Groggily and with effort, Hermione obeyed and followed Ron. He rushed down the hall and closed the door after she entered and told her to sit down.

"Now what's so important?"

"I had a dream!"

She appeared greatly puzzled. "A dream? Like the ones Harry had?"

Ron shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, Harry gave me those dreams the last time with a spell, but this one seemed like he was really trying to tell me something, you know? I was asking for help and I think I got it."

"This sounds interesting!" A smile glowed on her face. "What happened?"

"That's the weird part. I was at Hogwarts and I saw this door. I didn't even care what it was, I was just so intrigued. I just HAD to open it. I did, and I saw myself there and nothing was behind me. Just blackness. But the other me just copied my actions. I couldn't understand it. Then it morphed into a bunch of faces and things like that. I saw Harry happy, almost pleased, and then I saw my face with the same face. Like I was happy he was happy. Weird, isn't it?"

Hermione's smile was gone and she got into thinking mode. "And that's all?"

He nodded.

She didn't say anything for a moment and Ron became nervous. What if she didn't know?

"This dream," she said. "It has to be from him. He's trying to tell you something that you must know about…do you know anything that maybe the two of you talked about dealing with reflection? Did you talk about something that included copying? Maybe a spell?

"No, and that's what I don't understand," Ron admitted, bummed that she didn't have an answer at once. "What have we ever done with that?"

"Well, nothing." She replied reluctantly. "But it must be _something._"

Ron shrugged again. He seemed to always be doing that lately. "We'll think about it tomorrow. Maybe we'll come across an answer."

Hermione smiled weakly. "Perhaps. Good night."

"Good night."

Ron watched her leave and wondered why he bothered to tell her this now. She was barely there for five minutes. But he just had to tell someone this. What was Harry trying to tell him?

The night was cold but he slept once again and awoke to the sun splashing light on this face. He was still alone in the room, but he heard noise outside the room that forced him out of bed. Maybe breakfast was being waited upon, and he was hungry. As usual.

Hermione was standing in the hallway with Ginny laughing about something and Ron wanted to know what they were talking about.

"About time," she said. "We were saying that you sleep like a troll."

Ron was insulted. "I do not!"

"Do too," Ginny protested. "We can hear you snore all the way over here."

Ron ignored her. "When is breakfast?"

"It's almost done," Hermione answered with a smile. "We were getting antsy too."

"Why aren't you two down there?"

Ginny sighed and folded her arms. "Lupin. Mum says he's a down state and he's been in a foul mood all morning. We don't want to upset him any more than he already is."

There was a pang of guilt that stabbed Ron, but he showed none of it. "I said something to him last night but I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh," Hermione whispered. "Was it about that night?"

Ron flinched. "How did you know?"

"We heard Tonks trying to comfort him last night," Ginny replied sadly. "We heard about what he did that made you angry with him."

"Well, I don't want to talk about it," he said. "I just want to eat."

Hermione smiled a little bit. "About your dream, Ron, I think it might be easier than we think. Harry was never really one to have you figuring out riddles. But I have to admit, this seems to be tricky."

"Maybe he wants you to have more confidence in yourself," Ginny suggested. "Maybe the reflection was him wanting you to take a good look at yourself."

"But why did I see him then?"

She shrugged. "To show you what to do to please him? I haven't a clue, really."

Hermione was brainstorming and stared at the floor. Ron wondered if she still remembered where she was.

"That curse, Ron," she said. "What does it do again?"

"It's designed to trap Voldemort for eternity. I mean, he wanted immortality, right? Why not give it to him?"

Hermione pondered again. "I need to do some reading. I think I have somewhat of a clue as to what Harry wants, but I don't know how to do it. After breakfast I'll go to the study. If I can't find it there…I suppose I'll go to Hogwarts and go to the Restricted Section."

"Whatever works," said Ron. "That's why I know I can trust you to get the job done right." Hermione laughed and at the same time, his mother called them for breakfast at last.

**Yay, finally a chapter…I hope the days were correct because it's been awhile since I have written. Hit me up with some reviews, and what you think the dream means!**


	22. IM BACK READERS

Hey out there

Yeah I promise I will finish this. I've been going through lots of changes in my life, working to volunteer in India soon, working overnights and going to school…moved twice… Not much time for writing, but I go over my stories and the fire comes back!!! I think sometime soon I will return, new chapter in mind. Thank you all and keep me on your story alerts so you know!!

LOVE

The author IRISHEYESARESMILING


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